“What have I done wrong? Where did I go wrong?” Sometimes we cannot find a solution for our sadness, doubts and discouragement. The truth is that you are of great value to God. He can, and is always ready to help you.
Satan is an expert at triggering lies. Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Chernobyl, they are nothing when a thousand accusations of theirs explode inside your mind. Aren’t you faithful and are you doing so badly? Could it be that the windows of heaven have closed for you? A house fire, a mortgage notice, a termination notice, a child behind bars, a teenage pregnancy, a broken promise, a cancer that creeps through the body.
Like David, you can only say: “Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me” ( Psalm 57: 1 ) As you try to rescue your faith from the rubble and stare at the desolation with open eyes. What have I done wrong? Where did I go wrong? Sadness, doubts, bitterness and discouragement are scenes that are projected inside you, in search of answers. You torment yourself and, like David running away from Saul, you seek answers. However like him, you can still find encouragement and hope. I offer you some ideas that may help you:
When adversities erupt in front of you, which way do you run? Do you put your eyes on God, or do you go the other way? Developing a strong testimony in God, in such cruel moments, allows you to increase your faith and strengthen your confidence. In times of despair, God is prompting you to a sincere confession of faith. When you acknowledge His sovereign control, you show whom you put your trust in.
You are the daughter of a God with sensitivity
There is a verse in the Bible that is the shortest and yet it is the one that best allows you to understand God’s feelings when your heart is desperate. It says, “And Jesus wept” (John 11:35). There are only three narrated moments in the entire New Testament when Jesus lets his tears flow: in Bethany for the death of Lazarus, in Gethsemane, and in Jerusalem. The tears in Bethany reveal that the Savior understands your torn soul, the tears of Gethsemane reveal that he understands when you can’t take any more, and those of Jerusalem reveal that he understands your disappointments. Your God is not made of stone: He has a sensitivity that reveals that, when you are devastated, He knows what you feel and how to comfort you.
God is never late
I know that sometimes you wonder why God takes so long, does his watch have hands that run differently than usual? At first glance, it seems that on certain occasions he is behind, but the paradox is that he is never late. No matter what situation you are going through, God is on the way and what matters is if you can see him.
You are valuable vessel
In biblical times, oil was expensive. It was used for various purposes: to anoint kings and priests, to give flavor in cooking, to light lamps and to spread as a remedy on wounds. It was generally preserved in jars, away from moisture or heat. When you are going through moments of agony and pain, God takes you as an empty vessel. Once the crisis is over, your testimony is a light for those who are in darkness, it is healing for the downcast souls, it is an anointing for the grieving, and it is a flavor that spices an insipid life. Accept it: sometimes you need to hit rock bottom, empty yourself in the midst of trials so that you can then serve and bless other lives with your example.
There are a thousand phrases that Satan will detonate in your mind, but remember none of them are found in the biography that God writes for you. What is despair for the world, for every woman of faith are signs that God is reaching the trenches.