We complain a lot about what is wrong, but few of us are committed to doing things right and for the better.
Some time ago I saw a beautiful video in which a boy asked Santa Claus to stop bothering his twin sister, Amber, who suffers from obesity at school. The truly emotional letter speaks of the great love between siblings and invites us to also take action on the matter.
To begin with, I wonder: if for the first time in history so many campaigns are being carried out to eradicate bullying , or bullying, how is it possible that the opposite is happening? I can think of the following causes. I invite you to read them and analyze yourself and see if you need to change the way you are educating your children:
1. The weight of stereotypes suggested by the media
I believe that, first of all, the increase in bullying may be due, to a large extent, to the stereotypes of ugliness and beauty that the media portray and reaffirm. These have led us to feel compelled to fit into them and to reject everything that does not fit into that mold. The lack of supervision of us, adults, in the daily activities of our children and young people, is key to the proliferation of these attitudes, as we do not correct them in a timely manner.
2. The example of us adults
In addition to the above, we find that adults commonly also incur in various forms of harassment of other people in the spaces through which we circulate: family, work, neighborhood. The little authority of parents in front of their children and the bad example they offer, is the perfect breeding ground for behaviors of this type. As the saying goes: “The word convinces, but the example drags.”
3. Competitiveness and aggressiveness, socially accepted values
Violence as a behavior accepted and justified by society must be, without a doubt, one of the main factors for the increase in bullying. Even more so if we consider that in many cases there is no communication between parents and children, teachers and students, authorities and society. We must recognize that socially we are driven to educate children in the logic of permanent competition against their peers: the values that our society took in exchange for moral principles such as solidarity, empathy, honesty and respect.
4. Children who grow up alone, in front of screens
In the midst of this climate of violence, we find that many children and young people also experience feelings of loneliness, abandonment, frustration, anger, which make them seek to subdue their peers in an attempt to have a little control and power in their lives. It is also common for these children, who grow up alone, to seek company, belonging and ways of socializing through unrestricted access to the internet and social networks. Following the popular saying, “without a body there is no crime”, and what better place to vent all that aggressiveness and negative emotions than in the anonymity that the cyber world offers.
It is clear, then, that no matter how many campaigns are launched, it is we, in real life and not on a television screen, who must pay attention to our children, their friends, hobbies, behaviors. Without a doubt, the best recipe against bullying is to educate our children with values, responsibilities, attentive to their needs, as well as teaching them to respect differences and that people are worth for their human quality and not for adjusting to certain stereotypes.
We complain a lot about what is wrong in the world, but few of us are committed to doing things right and for the better. The bullying , unlike so many other things, is a reality we can fight from the comfort of our homes. As parents, we have the responsibility not only to take care that our children are not victims of bullying , but that they do not become victimizers: educate your children with love and responsibility, and give the world a future without violence.