To succeed in life it is necessary to have fallen several times.
In 2011 I met a young mother of 3 who life was trying hard. The woman juggled between working and raising her children; And since she was at her place of work almost all day, the children were cared for by her paternal grandmother.
For Christmas that year, she made an extra effort and was able to buy the children a Nintedo wii; device with which it was customary for them to play with those of us who lived in the house.
On one occasion when the children were playing with their console at their grandmother’s house, they began to fight because one of them had beaten the other; The brawl was such that the grandmother had to separate them and did not let them play anymore.
When the mother came home from work, she was approached by two children who were screaming and crying because they had not overcome the problem. She called her mother-in-law and asked her what had happened; Thus, the grandmother told him what had happened and the reason for the punishment.
What happened next blew my mind. The children’s mother got very angry about the situation and then called them and said:
– «Both must always aim to win. Losing is not good and never has been, both are winners and always have to seek to be. ” Then the children stopped the tantrum and left happy as if nothing had happened.
Grandma and I, puzzled by what was happening, looked at each other in surprise and kept silent. When the children were far enough away, she called her daughter-in-law and said:
– «It is very wrong that you teach that to children. It’s not healthy; They must know that sometimes you lose and sometimes you win, and that there is nothing wrong with losing.
– “Well no, ma’am, that’s not how things are!” The woman responded very annoyed by the interference of the grandmother. “That attitude only losers have and my children are not.”
The discussion was long and through other paths, and my presence there was more than that, so I left the place.
Why is it necessary for children to know failure?
Because in life sometimes we win and sometimes we lose; that simple. You cannot win from all of them, all; as well as not always losing.
The failure helps the person to be humble, to acknowledge their weakness and also to strengthen. In addition to this, it keeps your feet on the ground so that you do not feel superior to anyone.
And it is precisely because of the aforementioned, that a father must explain to his son the reason why it hurts him so much to have lost.
How is a father supposed to act when his children fail?
Being a source of support, speaking clearly about what is happening; explaining that all that pain, annoyance and frustration are momentary.
It is good that the child knows from his father that he is not the only one who has felt bad about losing or failing; It would even be very useful if your mom or dad would tell you some anecdote they have experienced and how they got out of it.
The child must know that failure is the prelude to success
Every successful person in the world can say that long before they reached their goals and succeeded, they had to go through many failures and rejections.
In this way, the child must know that what made the difference between the constant failure and the success of these people, was discipline and perseverance. That they did not allow themselves to be overcome by sadness, that they got up and kept trying as many times as necessary.
But for the child to feel encouraged to fight, he must have the accompaniment, example and encouragement of father and mother, he alone is not going to achieve it.
It is very important that you know that it is not bad for a child to be competitive, but you should also know that it is fair to know how to lose and congratulate those who have won. Thus, the child learns humility and that losing is not a tragedy; if not as a stepping stone to reach the goal.
Teaching that kind of thing to your child is not complicated and I know that you are doing your part; Keep doing it and you will have a child to be proud of every day of your life.