Feeling hatred against your parents is confusing and painful; however, there are situations where there is a why, which is important to know.
Few relationships can be more confusing than the one we have with our parents. Many times, no matter how much we want to love them, we cannot feel that emotion, but quite the opposite: there is resentment, resentment and hatred. Experiencing such emotions against them is confusing and painful, since, on the one hand, they gave us life, but on the other, we do not feel that they have given us anything else.
If by reading the above you have identified yourself, I want you to know that you are not alone; Several people can be reflected in such feelings and, therefore, it is worth analyzing it. Now, I want to clarify that I am not referring to the occasional feeling of hatred that most of us come to feel against our parents – during adolescence it is the most common stage -, but the one that persists over time, and it seems that it only increases in instead of decreasing. While there are many reasons why we can feel this way, I present the most common that I have found in my professional experience:
1. They have failed you in a major way
All parents make mistakes, and in one way or another they fail; however, there are some mistakes that go beyond the mistakes made by parents who are doing their best. An example, parents who never supported you on important occasions, such as graduations, weddings, engagements; that is, any event that is of vital importance was ignored by them.
2. They didn’t respect your inner child
Any child grows up with the basic needs of love, acceptance, respect, and feeling valued; that do not change as one grows. These needs — which are not privileges — are sometimes not received from parents and create deep pain for children that does not fade even when they are adults, because we all have an inner child that must be respected.
3. There was abuse
Many parents are physically and emotionally abusive to their children, or resort to psychological control. These practices cause wounds that do not heal over time on their own, and provoke feelings of hatred more than any other action, since abuse tortures the soul of those who suffer it.
4. They were negligent
Neglect can be considered a type of abuse. There are parents who, despite being clear about their responsibilities, do not take care of their children. It may be, however, that you cannot remember a time when you were fed, cared for, played with you or attended to your needs.
If after reading these points you feel identified, it is important that you know that these reasons justify your feeling in some way. I recommend that you think about all these reasons and try to come to a conclusion why this is, because knowing where emotions come from is the first step to overcome them.