What Does ‘the Other’ Have That You Don’t Have?

“To make a lamp always light, we must not stop putting oil on it.” Mother Teresa of Calcutta

When we are in a couple, one of the biggest fears, especially in women, is that our “better half” looks the other way. And it is not that we are crazy: the statistics speak that there are not few cases where men and also women have alternate relationships to the “official” ones. When this happens, we also feel betrayed and hurt, very confused. Among the unanswered questions we ask ourselves, over and over again, is the following: What does she have that I don’t? And we make of these words a whip with which we flagellate ourselves, over and over again.

Each head is a world, and each one has their own reasons, excuses and education on which to justify their actions. However, there are “standard” arguments that whenever the issue comes up, they give to answer “what did they see her” and that they no longer see in us. What do they have that you don’t? For now, be careful that it is not one of these eight things:

1. Lovers rarely say no

If you want an outing after work, the answer is yes. That he had a good idea to go sit in the park to romance, yes. Do you want me to accompany you with friends? Of course. These women are usually willing to spend time with them, in short they are the “eternal girlfriends.”

2. They spend time with themselves

They take care of their physical appearance, they always try to give their best face and, therefore, they are always fresh, confident and seductive.

3. They are independent

They are people who, with or without a partner, can continue with their life without major problem. This, in the eyes of many men, tends to be attractive because it makes them feel that if she is with them, it is because she considers him special. Plus, it can be challenging to keep her interested.

4. They represent an escape from routine

This excuse is unfair competition, because it is obvious that we can do little when we live as a couple to escape the routine: sooner or later, some things will be routine to a greater or lesser extent.

5. They always pay attention

Human beings are of two types, basically: those who like to give love, and those who prefer to receive it. The “receive love” type is the most common, especially in gentlemen, so feeling appreciated is a great temptation.

6. Take nothing for granted

They know that the relationship is not safe, for this reason, they are not afraid to use all their virtues to keep the attention. This is something that married women do not pay much attention to, especially when we have been with our partners for a long time.

7. They listen to everything he has to say

Believe it or not, both men and women, we enjoy hearing all our stories and, if they also show us interest in them, we feel deeply flattered, seeking the company of those who listen to us.

8. They laugh

That simple Men like light-hearted women, not those who only have a mouth to complain about. They are almost incapable of not being carried away by a good joke, or a good moment. For our part, women are fascinated by a man who makes us laugh.

It is clear that many women can afford these “luxuries” of which I speak above because they do not have a family or a husband to care for. However, some of those attributes we once had too, and we let them go because we began to mistakenly believe that we no longer needed them.

Everything I have pointed out is obvious, but make no mistake: just because it is obvious does not mean that we always keep it in mind. On the contrary, just as they are the common virtues of singles, they are also the common mistakes of married people. And as Mother Teresa of Calcutta said: «To make a lamp always light, we must not stop putting oil on it».

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