I thought that for a successful marriage we only needed to love each other. I was wrong.
Couple love is a wonderful thing when you look back and see everything that you have built. Throughout these years, with my husband we have learned a lot about our relationship, and many of these tips are those that I put into practice every day so that our partner remains strong despite adversity.
“A lot of water has to pass under the bridge,” goes the popular saying. Yes, it has been a long time since we were two little boys in love who dreamed of starting a family. That is why today, we can say that we continue to fight day by day to save the couple, when many times everything seems to fall.
Your happiness, mine
The expertsThey consider that the science of a happy marriage has a lot to do with the satisfaction that comes from seeing our life partner happy. In other words, the more positive emotions our spouse shows, the more pleasure it produces.
This leaves us thinking that in a couple we must show more positive aspects, since this way we will be opening the door to a more lasting relationship. When we are cheerful and kind, instead of angry and rude, our partner will feel happier and this will feed back into the union. It is worth the effort.
A deep friendship
John gottman, Psychologist, expert in relationships, explains that a long and successful marriage has a lot to do with a deep friendship. That is, with mutual respect, and a deep understanding of the personality and tastes of the other.
For the expert, couples who are “friends” with each other have more chances of trying to repair the relationship when a dispute puts the couple in check. Therefore, we must nurture that friendship, so that that person whom we choose as a life partner, also becomes our best friend.
The 21 tips that feed my partner
I’m not a love guru. But when many people have asked me how we have survived after 21 uninterrupted years of relationship, being that he was my first great love, the first word that comes to mind is patience.
There is nothing that develops patience like a long-standing marriage. Even though there are days when I think I’m going to lose it completely, then I breathe and start from scratch.
I live in the present, praying to God to give us the necessary strength so that this marriage grows stronger over the years, because that was our initial dream. In the meantime, I use some tips that accompany me to not give up on this wonderful career that is marriage.
These are the 21 tips that fuel my marriage, after 21 years of love.
1 If it hurts, it’s not love
2 If they lie to each other, it is not love
3 Humility and forgiveness go hand in hand with a successful partner
4 Don’t look for your “better half”, look for someone who loves you whole and complete
5 Patience is the most powerful weapon in a lasting relationship
6 Show off your engagement or wedding ring proudly
7 Children should arrive when the couple is strong, and not in a desperate attempt to prolong the union
8 If both are insulted or denigrated at the beginning of the relationship, it will be very difficult for the union to be healthy, clean, and lasting
9 Before considering the divorce, exhaust absolutely all possibilities
10 If you are still considering divorce, take some time before making any decisions
11 Praying together is one of the most beautiful acts that will strengthen the couple at any time in life
12 Have each other as one priority, yet before their children
13 Going out once a week alone, without the children, strengthens the couple and makes it reborn
14 Surround yourself with people who strengthen your bond
15 Stay away from “false friends” who encourage you to speak ill of your partner and do not help you steer the relationship
16 Find an activity that makes you laugh and have fun; a movie, a sport together, go for a run.
17 Don’t look to “win or lose” in conversation; you are a team. Either both win, or both lose.
18 In a marriage you put all of yourself, and not just half. Therefore, it is not a question of putting 50 and 50, but of putting 100 percent each.
19 Do not stop giving importance to the physical question; intimacy, hugs, kisses and gestures of love are always present in a successful marriage.
20 That the criticism is constructive and motivating; encourage each other instead of destroying each other with negative criticism
21 When everything seems to decline, remember together what it was that brought you together.
In a society where marriage has a “bad press”, it is necessary to continue betting on this sacred union where two souls are chosen forever. Don’t be afraid to keep trying. Don’t run away from the easy and keep fighting for your marriage.
Life as a couple is wonderful when both members respect each other, help each other and motivate each other to be better people. But above all, when they help each other to get up when one of the two has fallen.
Feed that love that you have for each other daily. Patience, empathy and respect are valuable weapons in a couple. For the rest, let yourself be carried away by love!