Do you feel that your children do not understand you? Do you seem to speak Chinese? Don’t worry, it’s not just you. Keep reading and you will find some tips for better communication in your home.
As parents it often happens to us that we start a conversation with our children and soon after we lose our temper because of what we hear, or else, we get so excited that we interrupt each sentence they express to give our opinion about it. While it may be in our nature, there is also the possibility of improving it with some simple, but practical advice.
1. A conversation cannot be a monologue
Many times we get too passionate about a topic and do not allow the other participant to express themselves. Try to speak, but also listen. Be careful when the conversation becomes one-sided, because we leave aside the person with whom we want to interact and he will lose interest in what we say and, what is worse, will not want to “talk” with you anymore.
2. Your body also communicates
Our body has its own way of expressing itself. Even if we try to put something into words, kinesic communication can become more important than the message we are trying to deliver. That is why when we are really interested our body is leaning forward, we do not have our arms crossed and we look into the eyes of the person who is speaking to us.
3. Understanding is not always agreeing
When we understand what they are expressing to us, we can agree or not, which does not mean that we stop understanding, but that we have our own opinion about it. In communicating with your children, it is very important that they understand each other so as not to have misunderstandings. We always want the best for them, but forcing them to see things from our perspective doesn’t work. This will make them close and not want to share their ideas because they still do not feel understood.
4. Apologizing is not synonymous with weakness
Apologizing is not a sign of weakness, quite the contrary. Only great people are able to recognize their mistakes and work on them to correct them. Even parents can make mistakes, so we should set an example for our children by teaching them to say “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
5. Learn to listen before answering
Due to impatience, excess of emotion, or any other reason, it is frequent that before we finish listening to the whole story we interrupt to express our opinion. While most of the time it is with good intentions, such interruption can cause annoyance to the person with whom we are having the conversation. We must first listen carefully and then comment on it. If you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s better to keep quiet. If you find it difficult to listen and be silent, consider that silence is an efficient form of conversation with your children.
6. Eliminate distracting elements from the environment
To show that we are interested in the conversation, it is necessary to be focused on it and not do other things at the same time, such as answering a phone call, a text message, checking the time or making a comment to another person who is present . This conversation must have 100% of our attention.
7. It is not always positive to be autobiographical
When we start a story it is gratifying to do it in the first person: “I did this”, “my family is like that”, and so on. But not all the time we should have our own example in this regard, we cannot have lived everything or felt everything, so it can be interpreted as an offense or cynicism if every time we are told about a topic we start by saying «I know how you feel,I’ve been through it too. ” It is not necessary to have lived it to understand the feelings it can provoke.
8. Use your emotional intelligence
Empathy, or putting yourself in someone else’s shoes when we have a sincere conversation, is synonymous with using emotional intelligence. In this way we can give a real answer, considered and that contributes to the relationship in which we are working. Think and feel before speaking.
Try to work these tips every time you talk with your partner or children to improve communication as it exists. Perhaps the changes will not be evident in the first instance; But I assure you that if you continue the path, the results will amaze you. With good communication, your relationship with your children will always improve!