When my first daughter was born, the last thing I wanted was visitors but family and friends were already at the door! If the same thing happens to you, send this article to all of them now!
Don’t get me wrong: of course I liked that family and friends wanted to meet our little girl, but everything was new! There were so many things to do and understand, that at times I felt overwhelmed. As my other daughters were born, things became easier, as I already knew many things and was more in control of some situations. Above all, by then I already had the confidence to tell people who wanted to visit us that we could see each other a few days later, because at that moment I wanted to rest or do anything else with my baby and the family. If you are in a situation like this, and you have any of the following needs or feelings, do not hesitate to communicate them to those around you.
1. Need for rest
Having a baby is quite a physical and emotional feat, so resting and sleeping for a few hours at a time becomes a luxury. If you add to this a caesarean section, complications of any kind and a baby who wants to eat at all hours, who sleeps little and cries a lot, any moment is vital to take advantage of it and get some sleep. Do not hesitate to take advantage of the little free time to rest and recover from sleeplessness.
2. Desire to be alone with your husband and baby
One of the most beautiful and empowering experiences of the birth of a baby is when the father, the mother and the little one come together, hug and feel like a complete family for the first time. It is a unique feeling and the possibility of enjoying it can be lost if there are relatives or friends that you must attend to, who make noise and who prevent that wonderful time alone.
Read: Newborn’s main need: physical contact with his mother
3. Breastfeeding your baby takes time and patience
For new mothers, breastfeeding is an experience that tests many of their abilities. It may not be easy at first, it may be painful, and it may struggle while you find the most comfortable position for both parties. If there is difficulty for the milk to appear or the baby to settle, the mother may become stressed, feel pressured by her own mother, the nurse or the father, a situation that is not desirable for any woman. Don’t feel pressured to receive views or help, no matter how insistent your family or friends may be, you decide who to see and when.
Read: Pleasant ways to breastfeed. What Every New Mom Should Know
4. You don’t want to receive views so you don’t have to dress or groom yourself
Do not feel pressured to take off your pajamas that are so comfortable for you, if you still feel a little swollen or exhausted, give yourself a few days of rest and little by little go back to your rhythm of life. However, it is important that you do not stay in your nightgown every day, take a shower, fix your hair and make yourself very pretty even if you are at home and nobody comes to visit you. This will help you avoid postpartum depression and re-integrate into the world.
I invite you to read: Could it be that I have postpartum depression?
5. The house is messy
Without a doubt, a visitor who comes to help and be useful is more appreciated than one who comes to sit and wait to be attended to. If someone wants to visit you but you’re sorry for the mess, ask them to help you or to come over in a few days.
Housework is the last thing you should worry about the first days after the birth of your baby, he, your family and you are the most important.
6. The reasons and motives you have are valid
You are starting a family and that requires all your attention and energy. If you have other children, you should also dedicate time to them so that they get to know their new baby brother and do not feel displaced when relatives arrive and only show care for the newborn. Do not hesitate to occupy your time in the situations that you consider priority.
By living all this, I have understood that the people around us can be very understanding and accept that a new family requires time and intimacy, as well as that friendship and trust becomes greater when you are sincere in manifesting what you want or need. I have also learned to be prudent when now it is me and my family who visit someone who has welcomed a new member into their family.