Nobody is born with the secret to be happy, but it is revealed as we live.
We came into this life to be happy, but achieving it costs a lot of pain. It may – and I know – it sounds horrible, but existence is a compendium of joys and sorrows that end up making us the people we will be in adulthood.
Of course, the above is relative. Maturity is not linked to an age, but to the ability of each person to learn the lessons and tests that life puts on the road every day.
Regarding the above, life taught me 2 basic survival lessons that I want to share with you:
1 The more stubborn a person is, the longer it will take to learn the lesson that a test brings.
2 Happiness is not a constant, they are small moments that give meaning to life.
Now, in order for a person to be able to pass each test that every day of his existence puts on him, he must be able to be flexible and must have the ability to learn from his failures; Otherwise, you will be doomed to repeat the most complex situations in your life over and over again until you learn your lesson and can say “Let the next one come.”
Lessons for a happy and meaningful life
There are 8 lessons that everyone should experience and overcome, these are:
1 What other people think of you does not have to affect you
We people usually judgeto others from our frame of reference; that is, we judge others for who we are.
The point is that they think good or bad of you is something that you will not be able to control. This does not make us responsible for what they think of you, it is their problem if they want to have a negative image of yours and do not give themselves the opportunity to see who you really are; So don’t feel bad about what they think of you, that will never change the person you are.
2 Time heals any wound
A few days ago I read a message that said words more or less that it was not time that healed the wounds, but that it was you who healed with effort.
I consider it to be a matter of 50/50. The pain of a love breakup due to infidelity is not the same the minute after you realize the betrayal, as 5 months or 3 years later. The truth is that in the course of that time many things happened. You suffered at first, but you were able to move on and you got over the pain, you found another love in your life and that’s it, it’s over.
It is the same with overcoming a grief over the death of a loved one, an accident, a loss or even a traumatic event; only that sometimes it may take longer to heal a wound, but it always heals.
3 Thinking a lot about an issue makes it more complex
And it’s terrible because it becomes a kind of uncontrollable obsession. It’s what happens when you fall in love with someone. You like that person so much that you spend much more time than necessary focused on that someone, that the time without that person in your life becomes unbearable.
The situation is that it complicates your life by filling you with anxiety and leaving you completely blocked in order to find a suitable way out of what worries you.
Relax a bit, go for a walk and let things settle; You will see how little by little the situation finds its natural course and you stop overwhelming yourself with the complex. Also, don’t forget: “If a problem has a solution, what do you worry about? And if it doesn’t, what do you worry about?”
4 Reconcile with your past or you will destroy your present
It is very difficult heal a past tragic, but it is essential to be able to do it because otherwise you will only be slowing down in each step you are going to take to get ahead.
You can do nothing to change what happened to you as a child or adolescent; however, you must learn from experience so as not to fall into the same “hole.” It is not a matter of forgetting because it is impossible, but you can accept what happened to you, or seek therapeutic help to achieve it and thus be able to move on with your life.
5 Stay away from toxic people, inadvertently they will destroy you
Nothing more terrible than having to deal with someone harmful. Sometimes it is your father or mother, other times it is “friends”, bosses or coworkers and even the same person with whom you share a bed every day.
Someone toxic he complains relentlessly, he will make you guilty of his conflicts, he will criticize you in a scathing way, he will always have an excuse to do something and he will end up hurting you if you don’t set a limit.
I know it sounds selfish, but for your own mental and emotional health; Avoid being around these types of people because you will leave with the destroyed self-esteem of that relationship.
6 Good self-esteem is the medicine to rebuild yourself from the damage that others caused
It is true. At first it is difficult to find positive qualities and aspects in a battered spirit; however, it is not impossible to achieve.
Go little by little. Look in the mirror and take a good look at yourself. Look at your eyes, your color, your height, your hair, your body texture and begin to tell you how much you love yourself and how beautiful you are, because you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Also make a list of your qualities and highlight them mentally; look at your less favorable personal traits and give them a positive turn; You will see how each wound that harmful person made you little by little disappears. I did it, and if I could, you too.
7 Don’t measure your progress by someone else’s rules
It’s like comparing yourself, it’s harmful. We all have different ages to accomplish similar purposes. Also, your goals are never similar to someone else’s.
Don’t feel bad because your siblings got married at 25 and you reached 39 when you were single. Do not be ashamed because your classmates are 16 and you are 14 years old (or vice versa). This applies to any activity in human life.
Some will want to get married and have children, others just want to have cats or dogs. Still others have always dreamed of a job, a house, a car and a scholarship, and you just want to be a world traveler; There is nothing wrong with the goals of others and yours because we all have different ways of thinking and achieving the things we want.
Live your life because you and only you know how much it has cost you to get to where you are.
8 Only you are responsible for your happiness
And linked to the previous point, live your life as you want, as long as you do not harm others, strive to be happy because that is only your responsibility and no one will work for you to help you achieve your purposes.
These 8 rules of life, although they seem simple, they are not, but it is not impossible to apply them to life. I assure you that if you put them into practice on a daily basis, you can have a full life.