We need to be heard. The power of the word is amazing, but even more so that of active listening.
We exist in a world where we are used to talking. In school, what is most applauded is exposing and speaking. We parents lecture our children and talk non-stop. We speak of the power of the word, of how we name reality, of how to heal through the word.
Indeed, it is important. Of utmost importance. The word is how we name and create reality. Our beliefs are reflected in it. We structure our sense of life, professional ideas, projects. It is also in the words that we narrate the past. We can look at his life experience, how he process it, or the words he heard from another adult naming reality.
We also live in a world bombarded with images. Everywhere we find advertisements, on television, novels, series, movies, on the cell phone, messages, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. Everything takes us outwards, moves us to expose ourselves. It even seems like a war, not only economic, but of competition for words, photos, lives. This leads me to ask: What about listening? When do they move us in?
The real need
People are eager to be read, looked at, heard. They always seek in friends, in their partner, to be able to be understood. But above all else, they want to be accepted unconditionally. It all comes down to the desire to be loved.
But who is responsible for giving you what you need?
The answer is yourself. Isperson it needs to be heard, loved, validated, understood. It is from this that you can move more strongly into your own life with freedom. However, we are social beings by nature. Paradoxically, it is through others that we can reflect and look at ourselves. It is necessary then that there is another capable of doing it.
Sometimes that other is a friend, a family member or an acquaintance. But we cannot always heal what happens to us internally and then we begin to discover that we need to fill that void.
Few people have the ability to look, listen without judgment, and understand another. One of the main obstacles is your own story, which suddenly jumps up and doesn’t allow you to hug the other. It is for this reason that many times a solution is to go to a mental health professional, who can contribute a lot to our path.
Go to the psychologist
Mental health professionals, and those who work with human development is what they usually do successfully: listen to your words. The difference between a bartender, or a coffee friend, is that you will not only hear the narration, the story, but you will be able to look deeply through the words. The general fear is that they will judge us crazy. However, those who are qualified for it are psychiatrists.
Psychologists have different approaches and theoretical frameworks. There are some who work with the clinical medical paradigm to refer psychiatrists.
There are others who work with different paradigms, through which the patient can be looked at with a gaze that seeks his most intimate and true being, where the same psychologist has to heal his story in order to accompany his patient to look at his. Where the objective will be to be able to listen to that person to unravel the narrative and find in it a new way of weaving the story; a new, healthier way for the heart, that shelters and wraps you. A way where we can understand the whole story and where the person can hug themselves. There where you can also look and understand the pain of the other, to be able to free yourself from it.
The spiritual aspect
There are some therapeutic approaches that are labeled “unscientific”, especially for touching the dimension spiritualof the human being. Obviously this aspect cannot be demonstrated, verified with the scientific method from the rigorous paradigm of so-called science.
However, the human need in the end is to return to the essentials of his being. Some people find it sufficient in their process to reach their true and “or” after opening the space for it to arise. For others, it is essential to reach a final meaning that gives them the strength to stay in life.
Definitely an ethical process does not impose beliefs or religions of the therapist, but rather from the language and spiritual experience of the other, it will accompany him to pull the strings of his life until he re-structures a spirituality that completes him in his soul.
Generally, personal growth, the development of conscience, is an element that all spiritual practices include; likewise, be fully in the present moment. This means that a therapeutic process, far from distancing itself from God, can bring religious themes closer and make more sense with humans. It could be the thread that joins the human with the spiritual, and it is possible to enhance both aspects and needs of the human being.
Seek professional help when you need it, do not fear judgment. It is not bad to go to the psychologist, because therapy is often a necessary and restorative space for a troubled world like the one we live in today.