Let’s celebrate real, diverse, and imperfect maternity wards by breaking the perfect mother mold.
It is inevitable that on these dates when we celebrate Mother’s Day, we see everywhere allusions to what it means to be a mother and, above all, what a good mother should do. Images of perfectly groomed women, with an impeccable house, the table set with succulent dishes for the family and a huge smile that shows no trace of physical fatigue or exhaustion. Mothers capable of all these tasks and, in addition, always ready to listen, play, help with schoolwork, do the shopping and end the day without ever being angry.
Although many of us who are mothers must solve these and many other things day by day, I wonder how many of us identify with these scenes and recognize ourselves with those perfect women, who manage to have everything under control. The truth is that many of the real mothers — those of us outside of television screens, magazines, or billboards — differ in many ways from those models. Yes, we run from one place to another to solve the problems at home, make comparisons, take the children to school, go to work, prepare healthy enough food for the children … and all the rest of that overwhelming and exhausting that it seems to have no end.
And at the end of the day we have done all this, yes, but we also get tired, we get angry, we get bored of that routine, we despair and also there are times that we don’t even have time to even put on makeup. At the end of the day, exhausted, how many times have we asked ourselves if we are actually being good mothers and doing enough?
I invite you to watch this video: if you are a mother who demands a lot from herself
There is no perfect mother, but several real mothers
I believe that in order to get out of the demands that have been imposed on us and recognize the value of what we do, it is necessary to recognize that there is no single way of exercising motherhood, which is why we should think of “maternity hospitals. Thus, in the plural. For example, being a mother in a metropolis is not the same as in a small town; It is different to be a single mother, than a mother who has the support of her partner, and of course, it is very different to be a mother who works outside the home, to one who dedicates her time to the care and attention of her children. There are even those who perform maternal functions shared with grandmothers, aunts or friends.
In an increasingly complicated society, it is clear that there are more and more ways to be a mother. Thus, it is necessary to recognize in the diversity of maternity wards, the value that each one of them has. And above all, when evaluating each variant, it must be done according to the conditions and contexts that each of the mothers must face, and not in relation to the fulfillment of the stereotypes that we as a society have learned.
If celebrating Mother’s Day bothers or hurts you, this article is for you.
Mothers day, a different celebration
In this sense, I consider that a good way to celebrate this Mother’s Day could be to reflect on the ways in which we rate whether a woman is a good mother or not, as well as to strive to recognize and value our efforts and those of many other mothers. , like us.
Here are five questions that I invite you to ask yourself about your own motherhood or that of other women, perhaps this can help us build new forms of motherhood and recognize them in a more fair and respectful way.
What is the social, economic and family context in which I and other women are mothers?
What have they taught me about what it means to be a good mother? From whom or where have I learned it?
If I am a mother, do I identify with those stereotypes? If I am not already, do these stereotypes guide my way of valuing the motherhood of other women?
According to my experience as a mother or daughter, what does motherhood mean?
How can I build new ways of being a mother and recognize the value of my own motherhood and that of other women?
There is no perfect mother, but many real mothers, who in their particular circumstances do their best, and sometimes a little more, to be the best mom possible. Do not allow social stereotypes to limit, force or make your motherhood less pleasant: there is no single mother equal to another and, perhaps, that is the best part of being a mother.
I also invite you to read this related article: From marketing does not come the celebration of Mother’s Day