The Healing Effects Of Forgiveness

Perhaps you have ideas of what it means to forgive and, because you are looking for meaning, you have forgotten to practice it. Here I share what I discovered and was able to put into action to radically change my life.

Many years ago when I heard something about forgiveness I would ask myself: Is it to let someone else get away with it, with impunity? Play dumb and overlook the damage someone else did? Pretend it doesn’t hurt? Ignore any malicious act towards me? How far he was from the real and deep meaning of forgiveness!

It is complex to explain everything that forgiveness encompasses as an action or a process, and for this reason what I will do is share with you —from my experience— what it has been for me. For example, in my effort to make sense of it, I understood that forgiveness:

  • It is the greatest act of love for yourself and no one else.

  • Forgiving is not about the other, but about you.

  • It’s about releasing the most harmful toxin from your body.

  • Talk about healing your body, mind and spirit.

  • It is liberation from expectations that are harmful.

  • It is accepting, blessing and letting go, let go, flow.

  • It is understanding your responsibility in what you are generating in your life, for yourself.

  • Whoever remains in a state of grace (gratitude) lives in forgiveness.

I learned that nothing that is foreign to me can harm me unless I allow it. However, forgiving is not always an easy matter. I continue to tell you some things that I have learned that it takes to truly forgive.

1. To forgive is to love

The main factor necessary to be able to forgive is to do so “from love.” Letting go of stories and mental stories, stop making judgments, stop wanting to be right and accept what has happened as such.

2. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence plays a fundamental role in this process, because it places us in the here and now. This implies the ability to close circles of past episodes and let go of the attachments that have you tied to people, situations or things.

3. Stop being the victim

You must learn not to see yourself as a victim, but also to turn guilt into responsibility, to give yourself the possibility to act with respect to it. This entails the firm decision to let go of the resentment.

4. Choose who you are and what you want, humbly

Forgiveness leads you to take control of your existence. That is, choose what you want for your life today. This, for its part, also implies an attitude of humility, letting go of the Ego. With this, you will be able to detoxify yourself emotionally, physically and mentally.

What happens when we don’t forgive?

Like everything you stop paying attention to, the feeling of not forgiving grows and gets out of your hands; It is like a snowball that increases, until it becomes something that exceeds you.

Emotional damage

The unforgiveness turns into wishes for revenge or hatred, and these in turn into resentment, which is more lasting and contains antipathy. And it does not stop there, the antipathy is transformed into resentment (being hurt with someone) and results in bitterness, manifesting as jealousy, envy, anger, and so on. The chaos in the world has its origin in the desires for revenge born from the unforgiveness. If you find that you have several of these traits, your life may be invaded by the bitterness that unforgiveness brings:

  • Hardness and severity in dealing with others; it is reflected in the face.

  • Angry personality, anger, hostility.

  • Harassment of those around you.

  • They like nothing and criticize everything.

  • Negativity, they are contrary.

  • Low self-esteem, they feel rejected.

  • They carry feelings of guilt.

  • Bitterness gives way to depression.

Physical damages

Likewise, not forgiving can cause you physical damage, diseases of the body, not only of the spirit. For example , resentment and bitterness are like cancers that corrode your soul and vitality. Forgiveness is proven to have profound healing effects, not just emotional, but physical. Symptoms of unforgiveness sickness can be:

  • Chronic back pain

  • Loss of memory

  • Increased blood pressure

  • Appearance of heart disease

  • Migraines, insomnia, neurosis, ulcers

  • Gastrointestinal charts

  • High cholesterol

  • Arthritis

10 tips to free yourself from the yoke of unforgiveness

  1. Accept what you can not change. Let go of the negative, live your present and unload the emotional weight.

  2. Face the situation, do not leave anything pending. Take care of the moment.

  3. The more you think about the situation, the more complicated it becomes. Therefore, think well and plan by acting immediately.

  4. Be honest and frank with yourself, don’t fool yourself; release judgments so you can see clearly.

  5. Maintain a calm attitude, channel stress and remain calm.

  6. Face the situation without violence, because you can complicate things.

  7. Heal remorse (remember: “There is no ‘there'”). Make the commitment to start over as you choose in the present, where you aim.

  8. Forgive and heal.

  9. Surround yourself with positive, successful people, recover optimism and the courage to live fully.

  10. There is always a solution. Flow and everything will be fine.

Discover for yourself the sweet honeys of forgiveness and cleanse your life of bitterness and resentment. You will see how by doing it you discover true happiness

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