‘During the courtship you should have your eyes wide open, but after marriage keep them a little closed’, David O. McKay.
In life no one is perfect, we all know it, so when we have made the decision to get married, we must be aware that there will be conflicts. In this sense, the important thing will be the way in which we deal with them. Lawyer David O. McKay, referring to marriage, points out that: “During the courtship you should have your eyes wide open, but after marriage, keep them a little closed” but, what is the meaning of this phrase?
Keep your eyes wide open
The meaning of the first part of this sentence is simple: courtship is the key moment to meet our future partner. Know their defects and virtues, keeping our eyes wide open to be able to decide which weaknesses we consider tolerable and which are not. It is at this stage that we must weigh the way of being of our partner in relation to ours.
Reread: 6 Reasons You’re Definitely Not Ready To Get Married.
Keep your eyes a little closed
At the end of the sentence, McKay tells us that in marriage we must keep our eyes a little closed, indicating that we must be patient and tolerant towards the mistakes of our spouse. It is important to ignore situations that do not harm us and to which we may tend to give more importance than they really are. However, it is essential to clarify the exact words that were used: we must keep our eyes a little closed. It seems that the key is in that “little”, since the council does not tell us that we should close our eyes completely. That is, we must ignore details that do not harm the relationship, but not those that harm, not only the marriage, but the entire family.
Relee: The miracle of forgiving those who have hurt us.
Difference between closing your eyes a little and being blinded
According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, when we are in love, one area of the brain is deactivated and we do not see the aspects that we do not like in our partner, accepting the rest. However, there are times when, although these aspects are recognized, the mistake is made of thinking that that person is going to change for us, which is not possible. People can change the way they act or react to certain situations, but their personality is already part of themselves. So how can you tell if you are closing your eyes a little or are you blinded? Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you often feel like something is wrong, but just try not to think about it, instead of talking about it?
When people around you ask if you are with your partner, do you give them excuses instead of reasons?
The moments you enjoy with your partner, are they less frequent than painful situations?
Have you ever felt belittled by your partner, but you apologize for this behavior in many ways?
Do you feel that your partner has taken you away from your friends or family, but do you think it is normal because they do not try to understand you?
Do you think that your partner is going to change and that there will be no more infidelity or mistreatment, although he does not show signs of regret?
Does your partner have an addiction, but do you have hopes that he will quit for you?
Not a good father or mother, but do you think he will learn soon?
If you answered yes to more than three questions, perhaps you should analyze your relationship, discuss it with your partner and try to improve it. If you answered yes to more than five questions, you may need to seek some kind of help to work around it.
Remember that it is not the same to squint a little, to put on a blindfold so as not to see what exists around you. God is always with you and can give you the strength you need to make a positive change in your life. Make up your mind to do it.