You may know someone you consider strong but, believe it or not, they need your help to remove the pain that hides behind that mask of strength.
You may meet a person with colossal strength, so much so that he has given you the impression that few or no situation in his life has managed to overcome him. What’s more, it is likely that you admire him, and even have felt some envy because of his way of dealing with problems; it seems that she is always winning and has never been defeated by her opponents. It is also possible that sometimes you have the impression that that person “has a stone for his heart”, since he does not say what he feels and, when faced with a difficulty, remains calm or shows a frightening coldness.
Know that he is truly afraid, perhaps more than you; but he feels that getting upset only serves to become more confused and that, in this state, finding a solution to the inconveniences will be much more complex than if he manages to remain calm. Behind a strong and sometimes indomitable person, a series of tragic situations, from childhood or youth, can hide. So many and of such caliber, that to overcome them that person had to put on a kind of “bulletproof” armor, since it was the only way not to suffer more and be injured, or at least not to show others their suffering.
Understanding to the fullest
You don’t know how difficult it can be for such a person to deal with every catastrophic situation that occurs in his life. Even worse when everyone turns to her for strength and advice, without even thinking for a second that that person wants to shout from the rooftops how much the loss of that job or the death of their spouse or family hurts.
For the same reason, today I would like to guide you so that you can be of help and comfort to that family member or friend of yours, who seems to always have the right word and a good head, never cries or laments about their problems.
1. At some point you will need to talk
Show yourself as someone they can trust and open up with. That’s right, just allow him to talk until he blows it off, without criticizing or berating him for his sudden “weakness.” Believe me, if he looks for you it is because he knows that he can trust you and it is not that he easily trusts many people.
2. Observe and support at the right times
Look at his loneliness and his silence; It is at that very moment when you feel the most pressure on yourself. If you see him constantly alone, don’t be afraid to go up and talk about anything in order to break the ice. Little by little she will try to bring the conversation to the point that it hurts her.
3. Don’t abuse your strength
While you can turn to your friend for reassurance, honesty, and advice, don’t go alone to seek comfort. That is, take him out for a walk, to go out to the movies or have a drink; that will make you see the person behind so much strength.
4. Your indifference is sometimes due to the need for space
Since it is so difficult for him to trust someone when he has dilemmas, he will seek to be alone to avoid explaining his life and what is happening. For that reason, it is sometimes more helpful to leave her alone; But if you really appreciate him, you should be there to help him when he needs it.
Think that this person you love is not stronger because he does not cry or because he endures everything in silence. He suffers and feels the difficulties of life, perhaps more intensely than you, only that he needs to find someone who understands him and does not judge him. That person can be you.