If your child has had a bad day and anger takes hold of him, this solution will suit you perfectly.
Anyone with a child at home knows how difficult it is to quell a tantrum when words are not enough. In truth, very young children do not yet have self-control of their emotions, so when anger takes hold of them, they do not even know how to get rid of that irritation. In the world of Internet there are hundreds of tips on how to calm our children’s tantrums. I have two children of 4 and 2 years old, so the subject seems very interesting to me. And the methodology that I am going to tell you next will seem as practical and logical as it does to me.
An idea to calm anger
Marina Martín is a Spanish psychologist who created the method called «the box of rage», which emerged with her partner from the children’s story « Vaya Rabieta » by Mireille d´Allancé. In this story, her character, a boy named Roberto, has a bad day and, after receiving reprimands, begins to express her anger by throwing things, and throwing a big tantrum.
In the story, the tantrum is illustrated as a great monster coming out of the boy and controlling all his actions. This monster destroys everything around it, and when the child, after seeing the consequences, decides to fix everything that it destroyed in its path, this monster gets smaller and smaller until it fits inside a box, where Roberto locks him up and won’t let him out. The story is a good ally for parents to teach their children to manage their emotions, but Marina went even beyond the story and thought of a method to accompany this reflection of the story.
Lock in the negative
The psychologist explains in her blog that, through this story, negative emotions can be worked on in a very particular way. What she proposes is to allow the child to express all her contained anger through pencil and paper. For example, letting her draw squiggles and stripes on the paper in any way she wants, and after all her anger has been vented, she can put it in a box so that it “never comes out again.” This act will help resolve your emotions and redirect them towards something more positive. It is not about inhibiting what happens to them, but precisely about letting everything negative flow so that it comes out and thus the child can visualize and validate their own emotions.
This seems very logical to me. I do not agree with the methodology of punishing a child for showing her anger. I’m not saying they should do “what they want,” but as parents we should help them channel that anger and discover its roots. In their anger, our children tell us “help me, I don’t really know what’s wrong” –
What if it doesn’t work?
In truth, this may not be a good method to apply in line at the market when you are waiting to pay and your child throws himself on the ground shouting “goooooo mommy!”, But if you can apply it at home, how many Sometimes you can, perhaps the child will gradually learn to control himself. We already know that self-control is a biological issue, and there is no child in the world who can calm his own tantrum at 2 years old, but you can help him feel better.
It seemed like a valid technique because it puts into practice the expression of negative feelings. And so, surely you will have many more tools to accompany each emotion of your child. And you, how do you handle your children’s tantrums?