You found a wonderful man and decided to take the big step, but married life is quite an odyssey. How to cope without suffering in the attempt? Read this article!
Do you remember Aurora, Bella, Snow White, Enchanted and Ariel? Her Disney stories touched us a lot. They lived wonderful adventures, and when they found the man of their dreams, in the end they always managed to be with him. We, led by the hand of these beautiful stories, live with great emotion the adventure of finding a good man with whom we can share our lives and marry him. What Disney did not inform us is what happens when, after glamor, we find ourselves face to face from dawn to dusk with whom we thought we knew thoroughly. And the “happily ever after”? Why does his way of removing toothpaste despair? Again without toilet paper! Why does he sleep so much? …
To collaborate with this small tremor between your expectations and reality, I am placing you a short manual that I hope will be useful to you.
read 6 sure signs of a divorce
1. Your home is yours!
You start a new life. Make sure it’s new! Try to let each one leave negative habits and vices behind. It will not be easy, because they have brought them with them after living them for several years, but you can do it. Avoid bringing you “advice” and impositions from outside. «My mother told me that if I give in to something, I have already adjusted»… This and many tips may seem like a safe anchor (from the experience of those who have advised us), but they can also cause a lot of disunity. What would you think of your husband if he listens to your mother-in-law who clearly told him never to allow you to come home after 9pm? Wouldn’t it seem to you that it is a matter that concerns only the two of you, and that she would betray you if she did not consider you for this? Be careful, you should not “take care” of your husband, rather, consider your partner today and always and give him priority.
2. Create your way of communicating
In dating it was easy to communicate. Each one was cared for in the basics at home and the hours of coexistence were the oasis that gave them rest and excitement from day to day. Now, both of you have to create those moments by collaborating together at home. Whenever you feel good or bad about a situation: communicate. Do it calmly, without clues, without assuming a mother’s role (without nagging). You talk to your equal. Acknowledge their accomplishments and ask them to acknowledge yours, and don’t let any major issues go by without communicating. It is not an easy thing at first, but patience and love heal any misunderstandings. Achieving good communication will be a basic investment for your happiness. Don’t get tired of starting over, it’s worth it.
3. Remember: everything passes
I remember my first conflict with my husband, it was the first setback that interrupted our honeymoon, even after finishing the trip. It hurt a lot because “I never believed he would do something like that to me” and I thought the world was going to end. It even seemed to me that everything was gray. And it is that he was still in love in love, the one in which the feelings overflowed. Little by little, I have learned that allowing feelings to invade us does not always have happy endings. The ideal when faced with the first problem is to try to put things in their proper dimension, and if for the moment we cannot, wait. I really like a verse by Teresa de Ávila that goes like this: Nothing disturbs you, nothing scares you, everything passes, God does not change, patience reaches everything, whoever has nothing lacks God, only God is enough.
4. Avoid measuring and weighing everything
If I cook, you wash. If I wash, you fold. It seems logical (and it would be wonderful), but it is not always the case. It is very important to divide the tasks, and that both are satisfied with the distribution. Here, the premise must always be that both give everything, without measuring and without regret. Let them both give 100% instead of stopping at 50%, because from there we start with the accounting account that only gives headaches.
5. Enjoy and shake up your world: do what you couldn’t before!
Now they are accomplices. Have lots of fun and cheer. If you wanted to party all night, now is the time! Take trips, fulfill dreams. Create the unforgettable moments that will be material for your children’s stories.
6. Be honest, do everything because you want to, not because you have to
Some women marry feeling like princesses, and after a short time they feel like servants. Every feeling is valid because it expresses something important. Something similar can happen to men. Don’t take anything for granted, and always express what worries you. If you are going to take on a role, do it with love, take it on, but freely and willingly. Otherwise, grudges are then held that turn into giants and can crush them.
read 6 reasons why you are a bad husband
7. Always correct the course
I will have to stay short, there is so much to say! My final advice is, always correct your course! Now I have been married for almost 12 years, and I still have things to correct. That Father! While there is life, there is hope. If you have started with some mistakes, stay calm, your husband and you want with all the soul harmony and happiness, and that is the fuel necessary to achieve it. Never be discouraged, rather get to work.
Finally, try to pray a lot with him, ask God for the strength to build a strong home, that suddenly generous and strong children and that he shows the world, which sometimes looks so black, the joy of living with a happy family.