No one is proud of their addiction. If you think that hiding it is the solution, this article is for you.
This article begins with a truth: confessing your addiction will always be better for your relationship than if your partner “catches” you or finds out elsewhere. And although this truth is going to be painful, it will always be better than a lie. Furthermore, the first step to overcome addiction is to confess and accept that as long as you keep it a secret NOTHING will change. Indeed, secrets are the food for any addiction, especially when you hide it from your partner.
Confessing is never going to be an easy action; that is sure. Most consider confessing months or even years before doing so; but fear always seeks a way to weaken even the strongest resolution. When the truth hurts, it is because it involves a difficult life story. Thinking about it, here are some tips for this important moment in your journey to free yourself from these chains:
1. Today, now
Do not seek to find the perfect moment to do it, or when you feel ready: such circumstances do not exist, there is no ideal moment and you will never feel ready; therefore, you must decide to do it as soon as possible. There is never a “better” time to start recovering than today and now.
2. Broken promises and broken hearts
Many, upon seeing the reaction of their partner, begin to promise: I will never do it again, I have never wanted to do it, and so on. Do not make promises you can not keep. Confession never implies remedying the situation completely, but it is a beginning to that end. Keep in mind that those promises you can’t keep later turn into broken promises and broken hearts.
3. Lie after lie
Do not change the details of your addiction, because many minimize it so that their partner does not worry; but this is another way of lying. Be honest in all the details and in the questions your partner asks. Lying does not change or lessen the pain that your partner will feel, but it does create conflicts of trust and security between the couple when the details are modified, because remember that the truth always comes out in one way or another.
4. Explain your story
Every addict has a history, where it can be understood that addiction has not been easy either. It is essential that you share your story with your partner, because although she may not fully understand you, knowing the context and circumstances gives her another facet and a way to become compassionate.
It should be noted that these tips can be useful when you are willing to go through this journey with determination. Still, I have to admit that while they don’t provide you with the courage it takes to have this conversation, they do give you the tools to navigate this all-important conversation. I think too many people have the courage and courage to take that step but they don’t; take care that this doesn’t happen to you, it’s just a matter of believing it and making up your mind to speak today.