Don’t get married if he doesn’t have the correct answer to these three questions. You will thank me already.
I have always thought that raising and educating a child is much more complex than launching a rocket into space or traveling through time. It is difficult, exhausting, strange, frustrating, extremely expensive, challenging to tears, extremely fun and at the same time the best thing that can happen to us in life.
The problem of raising and educating children, most often, comes with the person with whom we father them. As the relationship began, at some point a baby or two arrives and the family grows, but the couple disappears. Then the work of women becomes doubly arduous, since they have to act as father and mother, as caregiver and provider.
Sometimes life is generous and brings us a new partner and with him, the hope of a new opportunity to do things better and to finally form the family so desired. But (here comes the famous “but”) as soon as life flows, situations begin that put love, trust and faith to the test in this new life project. Those who achieve the necessary communication, patience, tolerance and love for the children of others have discovered the door of heaven and have the keys to open them.
How do we do this?
Why buy the cow if you have free butter
I hope you don’t get mad at me after what you’re going to read, it’s just my opinion and, well, I hope I can convey to you what I want to share.
Some women, divorced or single with children, have romantic relationships – which, by the way, there is no harm in that – with someone to whom they give “everything” (all of everything) without having any full commitment or without taking firm steps in the future. construction of a serious and lasting family project. Therefore, what comes easy, easy goes, or what is the same: “What costs us work and effort, we value much more.”
read 12 ways you prevent your husband from being a good father
He who loves the cow also loves the calf
Being a mother strengthens our image and makes us stronger and more intuitive women, or at least that is how it should be. Loving a man is the best and is perfectly compatible with the love we profess for our children, the key to success lies in you: choosing a man who loves you just the way you are, with your follies, your moles, your days good or bad, that has a life project and matches your values and norms; be serious and love the whole package: woman with children. There is a key to know if she is the right one: see if she is interested in winning them over or educating them, if she wants to be their friend or seeks to be a father to them, if she respects or consents them. You’re looking for a husband who wants to start a family, not some makeshift braggart.
A flock and a shepherd
Love is in the air, everything is in its place, you have confidence and he is the one, your heart tells you and your intelligence confirms it. The wedding is beautiful and everyone is getting along great. Well, now comes the litmus test: children, your children misbehave and it is time to discipline them, which scenario do you choose?
He rebukes them and you light up like a ball of fire and forbid him to tell or touch them because they are your children and not his. They get angry, the honeymoon is over and the children win the battle.
You reprimand, scold, and give consequences for their behavior. He lies comfortably in the sun, you are the bad guy in the story, the one tired of doing everything and, once again, the children win the battle.
He gets up, reprimands them, gives them money to go somewhere else and stop bothering; again the children won the battle.
He stands up, reprimands them, you give a consequence and he supports you, he gives another consequence and you support him. The parents together and the children, then, lost the war.
readHow to be the parents you always dreamed of being
You discovered the correct answer before you got married, he revealed it or suggested it to you, the two of you agree that you have a project together, that the children will not be only your children, now they are also his and because he loves them he will discipline them with you; you trust what he does and support him as he supports you. The united family has no divisions of any kind. Don’t start one with fractures.
The experience of your first marriage should be precisely that: experience to improve and not make the same mistakes. Forming a family is worth everything and he, you and your children deserve to be happy.