You never get comfortable with being what you are not, what does not work naturally. Should I change to please my husband?
For María Fernanda marriage and children were not part of her plans. She worked as a commercial director in a firm dedicated to marketing men’s clothing, so eighty percent of her staff were men. She had a close knowledge of masculine language in the face of emotional relationships and this probably filled her with insecurity. In silence she kept the fear of not meeting the expectations of some man.
María Fernanda was a happy, spontaneous woman, and interacting with her was easy. Despite having a managerial position, she was a very approachable and warm woman. However, she was not the most glamorous in the office, as her way of dressing was simple and her very job required her to be very dynamic, which is why she always wore jeans and comfortable shoes.
Several co-workers wanted her, and with serious intentions. Among them Alexander, who was a partner and fiscal auditor of the company. Against all odds Alexander managed to win the love of María Fernanda and, after a while, they married. Both continued working for the same company.
Over the months everyone began to notice a change in her, starting with the way she dressed: now she wore dresses, accessories and high shoes, with which she looked more uncomfortable than elegant. She no longer looked so cheerful and jovial. Everyone attributed the fact to the fact that María Fernanda was not really born to be married and that she was not happy. The problems in his married life did not wait: María Fernanda was tired and upset all the time, and Alexander resented because he no longer knew what else to do to make her happy.
One Sunday, sitting on the couch, they started talking. Alexander especially wanted to reach the breaking point in the relationship, he wanted to know if María Fernanda loved him and if that love was worth fighting for. Faced with his questions and fears, María Fernanda opened her heart as she told him: «Alex, I love you, you cannot imagine how much, but my fears came true, I do not meet your expectations! I am not at your level, I need to leave to be myself to please you and fit into your life, and that makes me very unhappy. Alex hugged her while saying: “Forgive me, I accidentally wanted you to be what you are not, I want back the woman I fell in love with and who makes you happy.”
The key is to remain yourself
Many women, in their eagerness to conquer their husband every day, end up being what they are not, sometimes motivated by their own husbands and in others because they suppose that by making some changes they will be able to conquer the heart of their husband again, even at the cost of your own personal comfort and satisfaction.
Given this, it must be borne in mind that the growth and evolution of people must be harmonized with the essence of each one, or otherwise it will seem false and you will never really be comfortable with being what you are not. , with what does not work naturally.
The key is that you remain yourself. Think, for a moment, of the woman you were when your husband fell in love with you: your way of being, if you were cheerful or rather melancholic, optimistic, patient, fragile, strong, with a great character. As you were? However you were, it was you and you didn’t need to go the extra mile to get her to notice you.
With regard to physical appearance, Ana Von Reveur, in her book Who understands men , mentions that: «You don’t necessarily have to be a slim woman or with a perfect figure to win back a man, you just have to preserve the color of your hair and body build you had when he fell in love with you; It may seem like a superfluous theory, but there is some truth to it, so don’t discount it entirely.
If you make any changes, let them be motivated by your own desire to grow and not by pleasing others, because those changes never give good results. Finally, without realizing it, over the years you can lose your essence. You do not need to change to please your husband, just be yourself, which was that person that he fell in love with.