Dads can also feel overwhelmed by the arrival of the baby and this shows up in their behavior and emotions.
Although not much is said about the subject, potatoesthey also suffer from stress after the birth of their baby; especially if they have previously suffered from anxiety or depression. However, fatherhood means an important change in the couple, it also implies new economic adjustments and the own fatigue that the arrival of a baby means.
I remember the birth of our first child and how our whole life changed. My baby and I received a lot of support in our first months from family and friends; When I thought about these moments, my husband followed his daily work routine and responsibilities and I never noticed that from that day on, things were different for him too. And one day, three months after the birth, he quit his job.
What at that time was a real problem, only with the years did I understand what had happened to him, my husband found a new job and it became a scare just, but obviously the stress of birth overcame him.
Postpartum depression in parents
According to the latest statistics, More than 10 percent of new fathers have depression, compared to 4.8 percent of other men.
And the numbers increase to a 20 or 50 percent chance if the mother also suffers from it, one of the most common reasons being the lack of a diagnosis, since no one expects the father to present this emotional picture.
A father can feel depressed from the pregnancy of the wife, until time after the birth. If a parent suffers from postpartum depression, they may feel:
Lack of interest
-Difficulty to make correct decisions
Lack of concentration
-Feelings of guilt
Changes in weight, (excessive loss or gain)
How it affects the children
Other studyreveals that just as postpartum depression in a mother directly affects the newborn and / or her other children, so it will be with the father. The study reveals that the father will show less interest in playing, reading or spending time entertaining with her children, so the area of parent-child interaction will be the most affected.
Dad, how can you deal with this situation?
Several effective ways to treat this situation are developed in The Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety Workbook, by Pamela S. Wiegartz, Ph.D, and Kevin L. Gyoerkoe, PsyD, recommending seeking help from a specialist whenever necessary.
-Think about why you wanted to be “dad”
The authors explain that when you have those nights when you can’t sleep because of the baby’s continuous crying, you should think about those moments when as a parent you wanted to bring that baby into your life, imagine him graduating from school, or with that smile daily with which he receives you.
-Create daily affirmations
As an example “she is my daughter”, “she can only express herself by crying”, “this is normal”, and if you write them in small notes and put them in places where you can see them, much better. Remembering through notes is very effective, as it refreshes your ideas and makes you move away from any other thoughts that are not helping you.
-Ask for support
Seek advice from friends or relatives who you know have already been through situations like yours; Talking with others helps to normalize the situation, it allows you to see that you are not the only one who is going through similar situations.
Rest is considered by the authors as one of the most important things to do when you feel depression due to stress. Match with your wife, so that both of you can take at least one nap daily. Rest clarifies ideas and brings new energy to the body. If you can’t sleep, because it’s part of the problem, ask for professional help.
-Improve your skills as a parent
Find out, read or seek help on how to be more effective as a parent; Remember that the quality of time you spend with them is more important than the number of hours. Nobody is born knowing how to be a father, it is something that we have all had to learn through experience, on the go, with mistakes and successes.
-A father is also important
Remember that children need both parents, so the role of being a father is as fundamental as that of a mother. Children need that paternal presence to develop skills of care, effort and protection that only a man can transmit.
I really enjoyed writing this article. If in those days, my husband and I had had the opportunity to know more about what was happening to us and our emotions after having our first child, surely we would have enjoyed that first experience as parents much more.
The reasons why human beings suffer from emotional problems, we do not always know, but luckily today there are many ways to face these conditions. Sometimes you just have to know how to ask for help.