Psychology affirms that the closet is the reflection of our mental health and the order (or chaos) that exists in our life. How orderly is your home?
Order is essential. It helps us find what we need. It places us where we are; this happens if things are in the right place. And this not only in the material, but also in relationships, in symbols.
Perhaps that is why the book and videos of Marie Kondo. This Japanese author and businesswoman teaches how to put order in the home as well as in the spaces we inhabit in everyday life.
To say that it only teaches this is to simplify what it shows in its method. She unites the symbolic with the material; it puts order, not without first giving it a meaning. Contact each space emotionally, with each place, object. It puts intention, and it is related from there. This is the important thread.
The order in the material
A space for everything, and each thing in its place. Have the basics and the elementals. Being able to have a visualization of what exists, and being able to have a sense of having it. Furniture, clothing, accessories, kitchen, office papers What is it made for? Do I need it? Is it really used? What place belongs to her? Do I see it? These are some questions to know whether to keep something, and where to accommodate it.
The order in human relationships
When we speak of order in human relationships, we think of the rules that must be followed to maintain peace. Sometimes you also think about whether or not the relationship is useful. And sometimes, when the answer is negative, it is decided to simply drop the relationship.
However, in relationships the order is a little the same and a little different than with material objects.
On the one hand, in relationships there is no choice, since there are relationships that simply exist, and there is no way to choose them. And even if we stop seeing people and living with them, the bond is still there the same.
What is the order to take care of in these relationships? What are the questions to ask ourselves in this regard?
Some may be: what is the link that exists? Where does it belong? ,I see? Do I give you that place? How we accommodate our family has a lot to do with how we relate to it, to each member.
An example of this is our parents
There are theories that suggest that we choose our parents before we are born, either spiritually or energetically. In reality, we relate to them as something that happened to us; and they exist whether we like it or not.
The bond exists, since it is through them and through them that life came to us. The same with grandparents, since they are one more link in that infinite line that connects us with the origin. We do not choose the brothers either, they are there, and we cannot choose them. Likewise, children arrive, like this, with that magical, divine, mysterious way that life arrives.
What place each one has in your life, in your heart, how you see them has to do with how your relationship with them is. Even who do you see through them.
The classic example is when you see in your son, your partner, and everything that you dislike about your partner, you end up protesting about your child’s behavior. Actually, the son is not being seen. And when it is discussed with him, many times they are not relating as mother and son, or as a mother who forms,educate and sets consequences, but as a dyad that is confronted and confronted.
In the couple relationship
One of the aspects of difference between women and men is the symbolic and concrete content that both handle. It is for this reason that in general they have different practices that collide with each other.
The way of putting order responds to different needs of each one. While women have a greater internal world, men are more practical, because they need to translate everything into reality.
Perhaps this responds to an evolutionary brain development that has to do with the historical practices that each genre has developed. However that may be, they both need a common territory where they can unite the symbolic and the real. E se territory can be order.
For example, a son in the park, a mother wants to hug him and shelter him so that he symbolically feels loved, content, cared for. At the same time, the father wants him to resist adversity, so that, in the everyday, the practicalities of life, he can do it in other situations.
You both have different interests in your child’s education. However, both parents have the same hierarchy. Both need to have a place, and add to be in harmony with the son.
Order in everything
Sometimes this same disorder in relationships is what generates, as a reflection, a disorder around the material. Reviewing the order in your interactions is also reflected in the material when you manage to accommodate your reality in the correct order.
Check your objects, your closet, your drawers, your house. Check your interpersonal relationships, your emotions, deep inside. Ordering one will impact the other. It doesn’t matter which one you start with. Ordering everything will give you harmony in your life.