His AWESOME confession is helping thousands of women understand these changes (mistaken for ‘someone else’) in their husbands.
Without going any further, today, when I got to the office, I asked about one of my colleagues who was not there. They told me that I had not been because I had an appointment with the doctor, and I automatically thought “how strange, a young man at the doctor.”
How stupid of me, but it happens to many women that we assume that men do not suffer or do not feel like we do. Reading this publication of this young man on the networks shook everything in me and made me reconsider.
«One night a year ago around 2 am I tried to kill myself»
Thus begins the publication of Caolán Doherty on his personal wall on Facebook. Most likely, he never imagined that it would be shared by tens of thousands of people around the world.
The full text says:
«One night a year ago around 2 am I tried to kill myself. It had been too much year after year with the dark haze that is depression. Luckily I was unsuccessful.
’15 days later me and my girlfriend found out that she was three weeks pregnant. 7 months later a son who is now almost 5 months old was born. If I had managed to kill myself, it would basically be erased from this photo, it would not exist. I would have missed the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thinking about it terrifies me. ‘
‘And I’m not going to lie, there have been dark days since then and I must always face this disease, daily. But it’s worth dealing with, it’s worth dealing with, and most of all it’s worth talking about. That’s what has kept me alive, talking about her with the people I love and with the people who love me. ‘
‘Anyway, this is the story of my life from a year ago and for the first time in a long time I hope to live many more!’
‘Keep the Faith’ »
Depression in men and how we can help as women
Depression is not the heritage of women, depression can be suffered by men too, and in many cases, in men it can be more severe since society, customs and the demands of life ‘do not’ allow them to express your true emotions.
People who suffer from depression begin to change behaviors in their lives, at first they are slightly identifiable, but over time they deepen if they do not receive help. When these signs begin to appear in a woman, people tend to realize immediately, however, when they appear in men, we tend to think that she has someone else, that she no longer loves us as she used to, or anything, unless she needs help .
Symptoms that your husband may be depressed
According to Dr. Josh Klapow, a Psychologist at the University of Alabama, one of the most typical symptoms of depression in men (and not so common in women) is fatigue, “they report being more tired than normal”, Explain.
Frequent stomach or back pain
According to Dr. Norman Sussman, professor of psychiatry at NYU Lanone Medical Center, states that people who suffer from depression suffer from physical problems.
In men, the appearance of headaches, back pain, digestion problems, diarrhea, stomach pain, are closely linked to depression, although very few men know it.
In my country we say that ‘he walks with bare wires’, referring to the state of mind that reacts negatively to everything, even to the things that would normally make him laugh or happy.
Dr. Klapow says that dark thoughts are what make the mood so irritable.
In a relationship with a couple, it is very easy to confuse this with a lack of love, the presence of a third party or lack of interest in continuing with the relationship, when in reality it is a disease.
Anxiety and / or stress
One study showed that men are more likely to show anxiety when depressed compared to women.
This can be a defense mechanism for men as talking about their “anxiety state is much easier for them than talking about being sad.”
Depression in men can also cause intimacy problems; the most common are erection problems. Substance abuse is also very common in men who are depressed; it is the weapon they find to disguise their symptoms and not admit the sadness they feel.
Another very prominent symptom in men is the loss of their ability to make decisions, simple and everyday decisions.
What to do to help you?
The experts suggest always be alert to small changes of the couple without assuming the worst, but paying attention to the change and the context.
On the other hand, they suggest not waiting for the couple to hit rock bottom before asking for help. “60% of people who attempt suicide suffer from severe or medium depression.” If we go back to the case of Caolán, although we do not know the details, we know that he tried to commit suicide before we could talk about his depression.
As the wife of someone with depression, you should “try to break the ice about the illness, gently but firmly,” suggests Sari Harrar. Seek help together, assist with him, seek a diagnosis together.
Depression is an illness like any other that you shouldn’t be ashamed of; no one is ashamed of having heart disease. The brain is one more organ of the body and when it stops working properly you should seek medical help to heal and return to living as before.
Silence is the worst enemy.