My Son Is The Hitter Of His Class, I Haven’t Taught Him That!

The media, social networks and parents are often the source of violent behavior in children. Find out how to avoid this great evil.

When someone tells us that our child is in the wrong steps, creating problems or worse, attacking other children, we have a hard time accepting that it is true. We immediately ensure that we do not encourage violence, much less allow it in our home.

In my work as a teacher I have found — unfortunately, more frequently every day — that when a parent is told that their child is assaulting their classmates or teachers, they immediately deny teaching or encouraging such violence; and curiously, they get angry. When we calmly review some parenting situations, habits or family structure together, we easily find that yes, the child is indeed learning to be violent at home. What are these situations?

1. Domestic violence

Definitely, the main reason why children tend to be aggressive is because they have a relative or some violent person living at home. Family violence only generates more violence. When a child is violated, attacked or humiliated by the person who is supposed to care for and love him, he looks for others smaller or equal to him to exercise the violence of which he himself is the object.

2. TV shows

When a child turns on the television or the computer, it opens a door in the privacy of your home through which a myriad of things can enter and not all of them are correct. Currently, few children watch television or enter the Internet in the company of an adult who helps them filter, understand and measure everything they see and hear on these media. It is said that today, a 6-year-old child has already seen domestic violence, assaults, rapes, accidents and more homicides in his short life than an adult of the past generation would ever see in his entire life. That is why you must be very prudent when listening and watching the yellow news or the so-called red note, soap operas, talk shows , etc. Try not to do it in front of your children, or better yet, don’t see them either. These kinds of shows only pollute the minds of those who watch them.

3. Video games

All those games that involve killing, destroying or hurting human beings, animals or any other living being, is not suitable for an adult and much less for a child. There are many fun games that you can bring your children closer to, but never a violent game or one that involves the use of weapons.

4. Our way of behaving

Some adults are rude or we attack those around us with our way of reacting to certain situations. Sometimes we justify ourselves by saying that it is about our temperament, our character, or even the way we were raised and educated, that this is how we are and that we cannot change. However, any argument collapses if that behavior is hurting those around you and especially if it is your own child. If this is your case, do your best to be a little more polite and patient, be careful to ask for things please and say thank you. Even move in a more gentle and discreet way. Lowering the volume and tone of voice can also be of great help.

5. Our vocabulary

He says a phrase that “words hurt more than blows” and it is very true, a broken bone ends up soldering over time, but a broken spirit rarely recovers. There may not be explicit physical violence, but if the words are harsh and cruel, it is the same as or worse than an act that involves physical violence. Its effect on the tender mind of an infant is to mark it for life.

6. How we solve our problems

How do you react when you get angry or frustrated? Do you throw things? Do you break them? Do you scream and blaspheme? Well, whatever you do, you are teaching your child a life lesson by showing him how he reacts to adversity. The same thing happens when you yell and fight with a vendor, kick a dog in the street, or yell at another driver. Lessons and more life lessons so that your child reacts the same or worse when he goes through the same situations. Better show him how to solve problems, how to dialogue and how to find solutions by the right means.

7. Lack of good manners, consideration and kindness at home

Good manners never go out of style. Consideration and kindness towards those around us are the balm that avoids friction between human beings, makes life more bearable and increases emotional ties. Do not forget them, or consider them trifles.

If, after reviewing all these points, your child’s violent behavior continues, it is necessary that you approach a professional to thoroughly review the situation and help them soon disappear. No one should ever accept or get used to violence, in any of its forms. Don’t let it spread or affect the ones you love.

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