Much of what women live has to do with a civilization that today normalizes their exploitation. Therefore, their self-care is essential.
In this historical epoch it is important to make visible the reality of many women who support their homes, vulnerable people, such as children and the elderly.
Much of the advances in gender equality brought rights to women that have helped to have a decent life. It is also true that in many cases it brought a greater burden and responsibilities, where the right to work tripled her tasks : the house, her children, her work world.
Much of what women experience as violent is invisible. It has to do with a walk of civilization that today is normalized, but that does not mean that it is a dignifying reality. Within all the overexertion to what women must meet as social standards, there is exploitation. The same that generates diseases, both physical and emotional, difficult to treat within this context.
In order to survive, and to mitigate this reality a bit, which includes strong shocks in interpersonal relationships, it is important that the woman be aware of what she is experiencing, naming it clearly and real. In addition to this, it is essential to be able to clarify certain elements of self-care.
1. Beliefs of what it is to be a mother
The definition of mom, and the duties she must fulfill, often have unviable ideas. Few media speak realistically about it. Actually, if we look at the media (television, magazines, social networks), the demands on a mother are high.
Being all the time of a good figure, arranged, in a good mood, loving, and the whole home to perfection. This couldn’t be further out of reach. In general, having a child leaves marks on the body, as well as possible overweight. It is exhaustion and over responsibility. Lowering the standards of perfection is essential, and reviewing your ownbeliefs You can modify the feeling of weight that this role carries.
2. Release the child
Being a mother often brings with it the desire that our children are always well and happy. The reality is that this is not possible. Children fall down, they have difficult experiences, they don’t like doing certain things they have to do – like homework, for example – and they can’t be happy all the time, or be perfect. In order to continue with the hard exercise of mothering children, two things are important:
to. Give them responsibilities
If there is something certain in life, it is responsibilities to fulfill and consequences to assume. Being able to prepare children for this reality, on the one hand, will form them. But, in addition to this, giving them responsibilities can discharge you from many activities that you may think are yours, such as tidying their bedroom.
b. Respect your destiny
Children have their own life history. We influence greatly, however, there is a large part of children’s lives that we cannot control. We only have to respect them, look at them with their dignity and greatness to be able to with their own history, and accompany them lovingly. This will allow you to shed a large part of the burden of being a mother by pretending to have a perfect life.
3. Differentiation between the different roles
Human beings have different roles. We are born and sometimes we are already a son, brother, grandson, cousin, nephew … then we become a friend, a parent, a professional couple, and an infinite etcetera full of possibilities.
It is for this reason that it is essential to detect what are all the roles that we play, and define those functions. Being able to prioritize, set schedules, and specifically define the activities to be carried out per day, will facilitate the day to day.
Housewife: distribute the tasks and have clear objectives for the day. Which ones are done daily, which ones a week, which ones a month.
Couple : have couple spaces, specific activities, where you can also enjoy this part of your life.
Mom: We often confuse serving our children, going to school meetings, etc., with actually being with them. Being able to have shared activities in quality time can make your children feel your motherly love.
Professional: many women who they work, at the end of their working hours they continue their tasks at home. Being able to leave the work delimited in spaces, or at specific times, will help you not to get lost and overload.
Woman: looking at women is to recover yourself as a person. Your tastes, your desires, dreams, even your needs even for rest. Recovering the woman you are is important in order to be more clear about the self-care you need.
4. Comprehensive health
Being able to give yourself space to breathe, take care of your emotions, hours of sleep, food, exercise, and attend to your personal needs, will pay for your well-being, since you can continue to take care of everything.
5. The order
The order in your house, in your schedules, in your life, will make it easier for you to get out of everyday life, which is sometimes so arid. The obligations are many, and the order makes it easy to streamline many of the things. The order of where things are, where to keep them, etc. Even having the essentials will simplify your activities.
6. Delimit your own capacity
There are some specific issues that are beyond our possibilities and capabilities. For example, it may be in financial capacity, or in professional skills, or even at home. Being able to detect what you are not capable of will help you to be able to delegate those tasks, to renounce them, or if possible, to train yourself to do it and to facilitate the fulfillment of this.
Sometimes you have all the ability to do something, but it is also a task that someone else can do. Sometimes a child, your partner, or sometimes someone hired to do it. Some days are saturated and you can learn to delegate certain responsibilities, or facilitate tasks on that specific day.
For example, if you left work late, you come home tired, you can decide that day to buy homemade food, not because you can’t, but to make your day easier if your work was very heavy, and to be in a better mood for your family.
8. Ask for help
Sometimes it is not a particularly busy day. Sometimes it’s just that you’re emotionally drained. You may even run into health difficulties. Maybe you just want to go to a coffee with a friend. For that, it is important to be able to ask for help. Not because you can’t do it, but because we all need help from time to time with our responsibilities. Ask for what you need, to whom I can give you, and receive it.
9. Connect with your spirituality
The spiritual life, it is undeniable that it can help to trust in the flow of life, and that one can get ahead. D escaping into that superior being, is many times the strength that is needed to continue with the titanic work of being women, mothers, professionals in this world. Find your ways to connect with that higher self.
And you, what other ways do you have to take care of yourself? What other tips do you share with us?