Man and woman, collaborating together, achieve a powerful synergy that promotes healthy growth in the family. Money can disjoin and empower them.
Money is, after infidelity, the second leading cause of divorce in the United States. This is one of the conclusions obtained by Ramsey Solutions, who carried out asurvey to more than a thousand adults and married couples in 2017.
According to this study, debts and inefficient household income management are the cause of innumerable tensions that greatly affect the spouses’ relationship.
Recently, a study was carried out that complements this information, stating that the man’s stress is closely related to the support he receives from his wifeto meet household expenses. We will tell you more about their conclusions later.
Stress actively impacts our quality of life
Harmony in the home generates healthy bonds, order in the life of each member of the family, and healthy prepares children to take on life with integrity and joy.
Although stress is part of daily life, on many occasions it is an overwhelming constant that electrifies every part of the body, and prepares us to unload the burden on those closest to us. As theexperts:
“Stress affects family health. It is very difficult to suffer from stress without others suffering it. The carrier or carriers infect and spread it. We often bring home the stress of work or the street and make spouses or children pay for situations that are alien to them.”.
Sometimes parents get overwhelmed and hurt
The stress of parents is directly proportional to the stress suffered by their children, and their burden results in rarefied environments that hurt their family. It is necessary to look for tools to handle it.
The first tool is detect the primary triggers. Specifically, we will show you here a factor that alters the emotional balance of the parents, and that can be addressed with communication and collaboration between the spouses:the economic contribution of each.
The psychological anguish of the man is lessened with the collaboration of the wife
Using the cross-sectional survey Panel Study of Income Dynamics 2001-2015 carried out in 6,035 homes, with 19,688 observations, Dr. Joanna syrda, from the University of Bath in the UK, investigated the relationship between the relative income of the wife and the psychological distress of the husband, finding extremely interesting data:
The man considers a fundamental part of his manhood and work the fact of maintaining the home financially, although if the responsibility falls solely on him, he is distressed.
This anguish decreases until it is eliminated when the woman collaborates with up to 40% of the family expenditure.
If the woman contributes an income higher than the average, until she exceeds the economic collaboration of the husband, he becomes anguished again, and this breaks the harmony.
What can be deduced from these results?
Two particular considerations help us to interpret these conclusions: the men who chose partners who from the beginning had a higher income than they did, do not present any type of anguish during family life. And curiously, women are not affected by the husband contributing more or less income.
The author also reflects on the role of culture, since it could be understood that man is being affected by gender archetypes. However, it is not a conclusion that emerges from your academic work.
Men and women need to collaborate
Family dynamics are always affected when husband and wife selfishly tell “what each one gives”, seeking a forced balance, which always ends up damaging them, since they do not always see reality in the same way.
Much is achieved when instead of counting, and each giving up to 50, husband and wife try to give their 100%. To achieve this, a radical paradigm shift is necessary that leaves the primal selfishness and moves towards assertiveness, generous giving and selfless service.
The jewel of this study is that it shows from the male side the great value that having the woman as his equal brings to his life and mental and emotional health. That same rest is obtained by the woman when the man is involved in the home, freeing her from the suffocatingmental burden.
Read also: The best solution to mom’s fatigue and mental burden
The challenge: to be true “spouses”
The word “spouse”, which names those who marry, means “who bear the same yoke. ” The yoke is a wooden structure that is placed on the back of pack animals (such as oxen) to ensure that they walk together and collaborate effectively in the work of farming.
The idea is that the spouses share the same load. Not the husband later on, not the wife alone, but together. Do you know what the secret of a happy married life is? That each one strives to make the other happy, that she seeks to free her from the burden, that she seeks to make her life more bearable.
Neither money nor adversity will separate us
This unity of hearts that tries to anticipate the needs, concerns and burdens of the other, is the healing attitude that manages to create marriages that are proof of everything.
How do you get it? Simply with the genuine attitude of service and practical love towards our partner. It reads simple, but requires a great effort of self-control, determination and generosity, which only the brave undertake.
Go ahead and try it, the harmony of your home and your serenity will be the best gain, as well as a huge advance in the stability of your children.