If you are married but feel lonelier every day, this article brings you the answer and the solution for your problem.
People often have a misconception of what loneliness is, or rather, what it feels like to “be alone.” You can be married, with 5 children, have a successful job, have real friends, and still feel like the loneliest person in the world.
To make what I mean clear, I share with you a beautiful text that has turned out to be the best example of the kind of loneliness that many wives experience today:
«Eugenia had trouble sleeping, rather, she had a hard time going to bed at night. She could sleep, and she did it almost anywhere. None were too uncomfortable, hard, wet, or soft to prevent her from falling into the deepest of dreams, except her own bed.
That fact led her to have serious concerns, as she fell asleep at work, in line at the supermarket and even fell asleep on the rare occasions that she scheduled an intimate meeting with her husband.
But she did not sit idly by. If the bed was the problem, she would buy another. And she did, several times, but none was the solution to her problem. She consulted with all kinds of specialists and charlatans, all worse than useless: it was a resounding failure that put all aspects of her life at risk.
Over time, this problem worsened: Eugenia not only could not sleep in bed, but she also had difficulty frequenting the bedroom. At first this rekindled intimacy in the couple, but when the unusual becomes routine, it quickly loses its novelty.
In desperation, she turned to Professor Lugano. The appointment was scheduled for a Friday. She and her husband attended the meeting.
“I can’t sleep in bed, professor,” Eugenia said.
-I see. Can you do other things in bed besides sleep?
-Before Yes; With my husband we watched movies in bed, we watched series, soccer games, but now not even that. As soon as I enter the bedroom and see the bed, I feel a sadness that I cannot control.
“I understand,” said the professor. That is to say, you fall asleep everywhere except in bed. Are we correct?
“Yes,” he said. Please help me, I’m terribly lonely all day. The double bed is the only space where I am accompanied.
-And that’s the cause of the problem. You resist going to bed with your husband because there, accompanied, your loneliness becomes more evident.
I invite you to read: Being alone is not the same as feeling alone. 6 diseases linked to loneliness
Like Eugenia, many women suffer from incredible loneliness, and it has nothing to do with their being failures in the art of affective relationships, it is that THEIR SOLITUDE ARISES FROM FEELING IGNORED.
If you’ve felt that way, it’s time to make a change. Fortunately, this has a solution and I will help you find a way to “make yourself feel”, but also to reduce your loneliness and make you feel full with your life.
1. Start by changing your routines
Since you are only a housemate, your husband will not care much if he arrives and you are not at home. Go to the local library, get out there, and take a course in whatever catches your eye. Or just go shopping around and come home when you’re tired.
Of course, that has an intention: by changing your routines, you will show your partner that your presence is necessary at home, that you are not that someone they can do without. By the way, you will open up your perspectives. By doing this, your partner will learn that you are not safe, that if he does not care more about how you feel, he may lose you.
2. Stop doing what you used to do for him
Let’s face it, thousands of women in the world do everything for their husbands, to the point that they begin to believe that keeping the house clean and their clothes ready is a kind of marital obligation that is included in the marriage certificate. Never in their lives were they more wrong.
If you are part of that group, then gradually stop ironing his shirts or even bagging his shoes, and if you want to up the ante, don’t have his food ready. Will you notice it? Of course! And it will claim you, that’s when you can take the opportunity and cover the subject. If he passes on you, he will stop doing it and will be more interested in you as his partner.
read 8 things men ONLY do if they are still PHYSICALLY attracted to you
3. Take care of yourself much more
Make changes to yourself, do you have long dark hair? Paint it blonde and change the cut or hairstyle. Do you feel that you are a little overweight? Exercise, meditate, do yoga and change what you eat, what’s more, make him eat the same as you! Whether or not he is one of those who notice the changes his wife makes, he will realize that something is wrong and he will be alert.
Notice something: these 3 points may completely seem like something that is done to get the attention of your life partner, however, as you start taking care of yourself, you will love and value yourself more. You will realize that the change begins with you. When you begin to feel comfortable with yourself, loneliness will no longer be a problem for you, or for your relationship, and of course your partner will stop ignoring you.