Many couples find themselves in flawed marriages. This does not mean that you are doomed to a loveless marriage forever. These four tips will help you to fall in love with your partner again and rekindle your marriage.
You don’t have to kick yourself out with your partner for love to wane. Sometimes the marriage becomes boring and stale, and a distance is simply created between the couple. Although they are not fighting and arguing all the time, that routine coldness in the relationship is just as dangerous as the former. In fact, it can be even more dangerous because couples don’t often see this as a warning of a bad relationship. They think that if they are not fighting or yelling, the relationship is fine. The truth is that a boring and abandoned relationship is very dangerous, since it runs the risk of one of the two falling out of love. And the truth is that once love dies in the relationship, it is difficult to create that spark again.
So what can you do if you hit one of these potholes and lose love with your spouse? Are you doomed to a boring, loveless marriage? Of course not. There are certain principles you can follow to get your marriage back and rebuild it, lovingly and happily. Below I share these principles.
Go out on dates
Everyone has heard the advice to date your partner, right? And surely you are thinking: “What a cliché!” But it’s true! Dating your wife ensures a way to stay in touch with him on more than just “How was your day?” Go out and talk to each other about something personal. Not talking about the children, or calendars, or chores. Talk to your partner and try to find something new about her.
Do new things together
Relationships become bland when you repeat the same boring things over and over. So add a little variety in your life. Visit new places and do new things. Seeing how your spouse reacts to playing a new sport for the first time, or trying an unfamiliar food, is a great way to discover something new about your spouse and those little things can spark a new life.
Talk to your husband
If you feel that you no longer love your husband, it is very difficult to tell him. Of course you don’t want to hurt his feelings, and you can feel very selfish by telling him that you want to be happier – especially if your marriage doesn’t have major problems. But by communicating what you are going through, you will give him the opportunity to meet your emotional needs. When you see that he tries to satisfy your emotional needs, that will create love.
Have an identity outside of your marriage
It is important to do things together as a couple, but it is also important to have a life as an individual. If you don’t have your own tastes, interests, and hobbies, it’s hard for you – in your wife’s eyes – to be someone unique and exciting that he wants to connect with. Give yourself permission to have your own interests outside of marriage and the family. That will not only help you, but your marriage relationship as well.
The fact that a couple does not fight does not mean that the marriage is happy. Many relationships lack love even though they never argue. And both extremes: the lack of love in the couple, or living in the middle of marital quarrels, are equally harmful and lead to personal and couple unhappiness. These four tips can help you break out of that rut and get your marriage back on track so it’s passionate and vibrant again.
* Translated and adapted into Spanish by Oscar Pech from the original article « Loveless marriage? 4 Tips to fall back in love with your spouse »by Aaron Anderson