You cannot imagine the good that breaking these 10 rules that in the past were considered essential does to your marriage
For centuries, the idea has been sold that certain things must be done to make a marriage harmonious, so that the “spark” is never lost and it becomes monotonous and boring. The truth is different and those myths must be changed since a bit of chaos and madness is learned a bit.
Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, psychotherapist and author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? She maintains that “breaking some marriage rules” may be the best thing you can do for your relationship. “
Due to the aforementioned, below you will find 10 rules that should be broken in every marriage.
1 never go to bed angry
Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, a psychologist and author of “A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness,” argues that trying to solve a relationship problem when you are stressed and upset is pointless. She argues that the best thing for the couple is “Accept to disagree for now and review the problem when you are more rested.”
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2. 100% honesty
It is not very functional when answering questions about previous relationships can be very damaging. Barbara Bartlein says “That invites comparisons.” The point is to know how to distinguish between the fine lines of what can affect your relationship and be aware of your partner’s feelings, ultimately “what was not in your year, does not hurt you.”
3. Holidays aside, never!
Not because they are a couple share ideas about what a weekend or vacation getaway is. It is possible that you like the beach and he go camping, there is nothing wrong with not agreeing, the really bad thing is that, according to Lombardo, it is believed that because it is a marriage “one has to be and give everything for the other “, -According to her-” and that is not realistic.
It is healthy, if you think about it carefully, that each one gives himself a space to go on vacation separately, yes, from time to time they go on rest together, that does not kill anyone either.
4 fights condemn a marriage to divorce
Apart from being an absurdity, it is inevitable that a couple made up of beings who love each other but very different from each other, do not fight. It is healthy to argue, have differences and – why not – get angry from time to time and then find the solution, this helps the couple to consolidate, helps them to know each other and to become stronger.
The real problem is not finding a healthy way to solve these conflicts and because of this “pretending that nothing happened” to avoid arguing, that does kill a relationship.
5.When the children arrive, they will be first
That the children occupy the first place in the home is not surprising, it is as if they decided to put their relationship on hold because they were good parents. Dr. Lombardo argues that it should be the other way around. The best thing for both children and marriage is to put the relationship first.
Why? Simple, children need to see you “in charge” and to feel more secure with their parents when they see that their relationship is full of affection. She recommends that spouses “Create a couple time only during which you do not discuss the accounts in front of them.” If you as a couple are okay, the kids will be okay.
6.They should not sleep in separate beds
It is a myth, not every couple that sleeps together sleeps better. Dr. Stivill and Dr. Stanley of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, affirm that it is an excellent option when one of the parties snores or has poor sleep, that prevents the rest of the other person from being affected.
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Of course, the habit of sleeping each in their own bed or room does not intervene in the intimate encounters of the couple and other tests of affection.
7.In their activities they must be synchronized
There is nothing more damaging to a relationship than being TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. There is nothing wrong with everyone doing their own activities, that you go to the gym while he takes care of fixing the car or goes to play soccer or whatever, it gives them space for themselves and their interests.
“Without independence in a marriage, people feel trapped,” says Bartlein. So look for time as a couple, but don’t forget time for each other.
8. If there is no spark, they are destined for failure
Those couples who marry hoping that the flame of the day that they felt physical, intellectual and emotional attraction towards their partners will never be extinguished, they are wrong. They must know that love is renewed and strengthened thanks to the time, commitment and trust that exists between both people, that is where love grows and is renewed.
9 boredom is bad
Nothing is more exhausting than living in a relationship where drama is constant. There is nothing wrong with a couple having a stable life and reaching understanding simply and without complications.
The problem arises when that couple assumes that living without problems and altercations from time to time is bad and very boring. It is much healthier to know what to expect than to be constantly on edge about what may happen, that does deteriorate the health and stability of the couple.
10. Intimate relationships are essential for the couple to be happy
Sex is not an obligation for either party, nor is it the only thing that makes a couple prosper. Although, it is the way of expressing affection most used by men, it is not the only one. Intimate encounters aren’t just another “to-do list” thing, because the moment it starts to look that way, rest assured that your relationship is on the decline.
I hope that these 10 rules to break in your relationship will help you renew it and be fuller and happier.