A holder is the one who plays, the one who participates, the one who puts on the shirt. Are you a starter or a substitute in your marriage?
Many of us are not sports fans, but most men are, which is why speaking to them in terms that they can identify with can be of benefit to us. The expression “being a starter” is one of them, as opposed to that of “being a substitute” or being “on the bench”, since they have a great meaning for all athletes. It is for this reason that I believe that these terms can well be applied to things of love, because in love you need holders, not substitutes. I explain why:
A holder is the one who plays, the one who participates, the one who puts on the shirt. He is also selected for his gifts, talents and surely for the effort and commitment he makes on the field; because he knows how to play his position and do it as a team. In a relationship, you need starters who are willing to do everything for their partner, and I am not just targeting men, as this is a team and it takes the utmost effort from both players to overcome problems, challenges and adversities.
Play on the same team
Here’s a secret: man and woman as a couple, they don’t play on opposing teams. It is not a matter of seeing who is right or who wins with an argument. Man and woman play for the same team; They defend, encourage, protect and love each other with all intention to beat the opposing team against infidelity, selfishness, oppression and disinterest or lack of love.
On the other hand, a substitute is one who instead of putting on his shirt, is looking for other teams to play with. Instead of leaving everything on the court, he reserves himself for “another little game” after this one. A substitute is one who, thinking only of himself, is capable of letting his teammate suffer and fight this great battle alone.
Are you a starter, or a substitute?
I give you two crude examples, which perhaps are more attached to very fixed gender roles, but I think they can serve as an example and help us understand the idea:
Man: If after work you come home and it is not tidy as you expected and dinner is not ready, do you start criticizing, protesting, and demanding that they treat you as you deserve, or do you try to understand the reasons and start to help finish the housework so you can go to rest easy? If we base ourselves on this assumption, are you a regular or substitute?
Woman: While your husband is working and the children are at school, do you neglect your home or forget to cook? Do you start to watch the novels, to talk with your neighbors and paint your nails, while you come to the conclusion that you deserve to be treated like the queen that you are, that everyone serve you and that you do not need to do anything for anyone? Based on this question, are you a starter or a substitute?
Be a starter and not a substitute. Play them for your partner. For this occasion, put all the eggs in one basket. Love without reservation, and if your teammate lacks strength, do more of your part. After all, you are playing the game of your life. Enjoy it fully and give it your all; You will see that the mood in the couple improves and they will soon be invincible.