Learning to love our parents over and above their mistakes allows us to get closer to them and strengthen our relationship. Accepting that our favorite superheroes are wrong too makes us better human beings.
“Love your parents if they are fair; if they are not, love them equally ”(Publio Siro).
The forgiveness that parents give their children after a mistake is usually one of the most disinterested and immediate pardons that any human being can receive. Most of the time, without asking for explanations and arguments, parents receive us in their laps when we have erred on the way, to urge us to correct our mistakes and start over again. However, what happens when our parents make mistakes?
The first authority figure we have in our lives is precisely our parents. It is through his example that we all begin to perform the basic functions of human beings, such as walking, talking, eating, thinking, and so on. Through the imitation of our parents, from a young age, we begin to act in this or that way, to make certain decisions, to have tastes for certain music, clothes, movies, and activities.
This imitation serves as the first lesson that life offers us. The figures of the father and mother are idealized to such a degree that we come to see them with the same power, perfection and degree of justice, as possessed by the superheroes of children’s films. We live most of our childhood only observing the virtues of our parents, without finding any error in them.
But perhaps adolescence is the time when part of the blindfold that covers our eyes falls, in order to see the unequivocal reality about those superheroes who are not super powerful, perfect and totally fair at all. During this stage we discover the unpleasant facets that they also have. We discovered that they have had a past of successes and failures that, as children, we probably feel we have the right to judge. Errors that have remained in the past, and that most of the time, do not affect us at all.
In some other cases we will have to face the wrong decisions in which, unfortunately, our parents have decided to live. Those same decisions that have affected us or continue to affect us, directly or indirectly. Just as they suffer with past or present mistakes in our lives, we, like their children, also suffer from seeing them fail in their actions and determinations. It hurts us to see that the superheroes we have come to love so much are also wrong.
Regardless of the course in which we find ourselves, there is the constant truth that our parents also deserve to be loved, despite their mistakes and shortcomings. However, we could ask ourselves the following: How can I sincerely forgive my parents for the mistakes they have had and that have affected me? How can I love them instead of judging them?
Here are some answers to these questions:
Let’s rescue the best lessons and the beautiful memories that we have lived with them
No matter how minor or serious the mistakes of our parents are, there will always be more than one smile, a kiss, a word, an action or a moment in which we have been fully happy thanks to them. Let’s hold fast to those memories, which are the ones that really count when it comes to loving sincerely.
Let us acknowledge their mistakes, without neglecting their virtues
Recognizing that our parents are also wrong allows us to position them at a more accessible level and in which our love can be more real and constant. However, we must not forget that the first thing we discovered in them were the virtues that adorn their lives and for which we came to consider them our superheroes.
Let’s purge bad feelings from our hearts through conversation
If we keep a series of emotions and feelings that prevent us from forgiving our parents, let us express to them, with the greatest possible love, how we feel about their wrong decisions. This will allow us to vent and free ourselves from suffering that does not belong to us.
Let us remember that their nature is just as imperfect as ours
Let’s go back to all the mistakes we have had personally; Let us recognize that most of these mistakes we have committed with a certain degree of unconsciousness, hiding ourselves in our imperfect nature. By accepting the foregoing, we cannot help but remember and accept that our parents are also human beings endowed with imperfections, as valid as ours.
Let us give them our support and love, without hesitation
Just as, without a single moment’s hesitation, our parents would support and love us when they see us suffer because of a bad decision, we must be equally ready to extend our arms to receive them and lovingly offer them the support they so badly need.
Let us admit and appreciate that we also learn from their mistakes
If, beyond action and error, we capture the lessons that our parents’ failures give to our existence for free, we will understand that we do not need to experience this or that situation to know where it is easier to travel. Without our realizing it, it is thanks to the mistakes of our parents that our paths are freed from unnecessary and painful obstacles. So, let’s be able to thank them for that.
Therefore, let us allow our love to grow through the forgiveness that every person deserves to have, especially those superheroes who, if something were not wrong, was in giving us the opportunity to live.