Find out if your relationship is a bit like the one I will describe below. Please read the article and take control of your life.
Manipulation is the act of influencing the way a person thinks, feels and acts to do, feel and think what another wants. Taking into account the above, it is possible that at some point in your life you have seen yourself – consciously or unconsciously – on one of two sides, either the manipulated or the manipulator.
In affective relationships, manipulation is presented in the form of emotional blackmail, since a behavior is set in motion to cause the loved one to act, feel or think what is desired without realizing it in time.
This is actually the problem: that the other person seldom realizes that they are being manipulated, which leads them to fall into the manipulator’s trap.
In order to clarify whether you or someone you know is in the hands of an expert manipulator, it is important that you learn to recognize the tactics they use, that is why here I present seven ways to identify it so that you do not fall as a “white dove” in the networks of deception:
1. It makes you feel guilty and you have “no idea” why
Usually he is a master of victimization. You may resort to a difficult episode in your life and use it as a pretext at times when you feel like you are in a bind, to turn the situation around and make you believe that you are the culprit of all your ills; but you don’t know or have a clue how you got to that point.
read 10 things mature women would never do to their husband (or boyfriend)
An example of this situation could be that you demanded his disregard, to which he could respond: “It bothers you that I am not a detail-oriented one, of course! But since you did not have to deal with your mother’s abandonment at four years old.” Given that, what could you answer? It is logical that before such a drama you feel disarmed and without wanting to say a word. That’s what her game is about.
2. It is subtle in threatening
The strategy consists of anticipating the worst possible outcome as a consequence of any of your behaviors. If, for example, he wants you to stop eating those sweets or ice cream that you like so much, he may say, “You don’t seem to know what will happen to you if you keep eating sweets that way.”
It is very possible that the guy thinks that you are spending more money on your tastes or it bothers him to see you enjoy that sandwich that you want so much; For this reason, in an implicit way, it is telling you that if you continue like this, something will happen to you that perhaps has already threatened you before and that you do nothing to prevent it.
3. Disqualifies you through sarcasm
As he does not like to go straight to the point, but loves to send indirect messages whenever he does not like an attitude of yours or that has to do with you, he is going to let you know in a way that appears to be friendly, but that has little of that. Suppose they don’t think you have a good group of friends and they think they are stupid, and to let you know they might say phrases like, “If you worried about reading fewer magazines, you would surely associate with more interesting people.”
A manipulator looks down on you, wants you to feel inferior and insecure about it; he wants to make you believe that, through such criticism, what he wants is to help you and there is nothing further away. If I really wanted to be a source of support and guidance, I would tell you things directly and not belittle you.
4. Sell the idea that it is charming
He is not going to show himself as the monster that he really is, no! He is going to be friendly, he is going to shower you with flattery and exquisite details in the middle of an entertaining chat as if he knew what you want in a man.
But, oh surprise! Things start to change little by little when he calculates that he already has you in his network and begins to charge you with the illusion of a perfect man through manipulating you.
5. Become the “owner” of your life
He loves to tell others how and in what way to live even if he has no idea how to handle his existence, and feeling with a little right over you will not be the exception. Of course, he is going to dare to warn you of what may happen to you if you do not follow his guide and advice.
In general, someone who loves you well will never pretend to tell you how to live, they will give you advice and help only if you ask for it. Who loves you wants you free and independent.
I invite you to read: 6 ways in which you will make your life miserable
6. He is good with his tongue
He is the owner of a rhetorical capacity without equal. If, for example, he makes a hurtful comment that makes you feel bad, he will immediately add, “I didn’t think you were so sensitive to jokes. Sorry”. The point is that he wants to win all of them, he’s a genius at playing dumb.
Ah, but if you get to face it, it will divert the subject and in less than you realize it will be talking about something completely different.
7. «Throw the stone and hide your hand»
In other words: it hurts, but it is never the culprit. This is usually evidenced, for example, by discovering it in an infidelity. By chance you find a receipt for a hotel bill in one of the pockets of his pants, immediately afterwards he becomes enraged because “you are putting your nose where it does not belong to you”, and he gives you a moralistic speech about trust in marriage.
Think about this: whoever loves you wants the best for you, wants you to be yourself, so don’t let them handle you like a puppet, assert yourself and take your place. Sometimes it is better to be alone than to go through life in bad company.