Through my personal experience of the loss of a loved one, I leave you an article on how to cope with grief and the days after it.
When losing a loved one the situation becomes overwhelming, upsetting. Despite the fact that death is part of life, we are never ready to face it. When it happens we feel alone, aimlessly, without faith; Concentration is easily lost, there is usually anger and blaming God for that inexplicable pain and, although we keep in mind that God is loving and the last thing He would want is to see us suffer, the truth is that we go through a grieving process.
Many times we lose a family member unfairly and negligently, but we must change our way of seeing death a little. It is very common for us to have different physical reactions to this:
Headache, dizziness, and nausea.
We seek solitude.
Anger, sadness, and lack of resignation.
The following tips can be very helpful at times like this:
Give us permission to grieve
The time to hurt is now. But many times we try to deflect the pain, stunning the mind, saturating ourselves with activities, and refusing to let the pain out. Let’s accept the fact that we will be less interested in our daily things, our friendships and hobbies for a while; that many things in life are going to be different, and that we have to readjust. Do the duel, it is the precise moment.
Let the pain flow inside us
We should cry if we feel it, shout, get angry; Let’s let the pain out the moment it arises, let’s not be strong, we must understand that this is the moment of greatest vulnerability. The death of a loved one is always painful, and getting rid of the pain is one more step on the hard road to resignation to move on.
Let’s take time to heal the wound of the heart
Losing a person is hard to put behind you, and grief can last for years. Remembering and reliving it all over again is quite common. We must be attentive to relapses when remembering birthdays, when Christmas arrives, when contemplating something related to the loved one who is no longer there; But this is not a setback, it is part of the healing process. Perhaps you feel worse when you see that people continue their path while you feel that you are the same as at the beginning, not following yours, while others wait for you to advance; this is normal, what happens is that you simply need more time to overcome.
Let’s have patience
It’s difficult, yes, but if we don’t understand ourselves, no one will do it for us, and let’s not forget that the worst thing in those moments is to abandon ourselves to our fate.
Don’t be afraid of uncontrollable reactions
You can experience intense feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, confusion or despondency, even experiencing wishes to die … These are habitual and normal reactions after the death of a loved one.
Don’t make big decisions until you get out of the duel
Decisions such as selling the house, leaving work, moving to another place … It is preferable to leave them for later. Surely you cannot think clearly enough now, and may later regret it. It is also not wise to start a new relationship or make family plans until you have fully overcome the loss.
Do not neglect our health
Devastating us can bring great problems, such as depression or physical decompensation; It is necessary, for this, to eat well and get enough sleep.
If you feel too bad, seek help
Don’t lose your contacts and look for experts who can help you. It is normal that some people cannot handle the loss alone; think that their affection, support and company can help you move forward.
Be patient with others
Sometimes people, moved by the desire to help, end up bothering us. Let’s ignore the unproductive comments. Do not feel misunderstood, because many times they do not do it out of indolence, but because they love you and do not want to see you sad. Maybe they feel helpless, want to help you and don’t know what to say or do. Approach the people who are willing to accompany you and who allow you to vent. And at the same time, if this is your case, learn how to help young children cope with their own grief.
Enjoy and have fun
Give yourself permission to rest, enjoy, have fun and feel good; Laughing and joking does not mean that you go through life happy with your loss, it means, on the contrary, that you are assimilating it, and yes, do everything that is born to you, not by force. Keep in mind that that loved one who is no longer there would want the best for you, and that means that you continue with your life; do not attract bad moments, remember that those always come alone.
Convince yourself to give yourself serenity
You are the only one who can get ahead of yourself; Others will help you, but only you can, and just as you have overcome difficult situations before, you can now get ahead. Convince yourself to give yourself serenity.
In my personal experience, all this has been of excellent help to me, and that is why I share it with you.