Is My Home “broken”? How To Build A Good Home?

Building or rebuilding a “good home” is possible at the hand of Jesus, who invites us to found it on rock, on His love.

Imagine that you have found the famous genie with the wonderful lamp. What wish would you ask for your family, for yours?

If it happened to me, I know exactly what my wish would be. I would avoid falling into the temptation of asking for money, I know that what comes easy, goes easy. Nor would he request other material goods. Instead, I would ask for harmony. That my family was a haven of peace for those of us who live in it, I would ask for love, forgiveness and good communication. I could sum it up in two words: a home.

I love this beautiful word: “home”. It expresses warmth, intimacy, harmony. Getting our family to become the safe haven for each member of it would be a triumph for me in my life as a mother.

As the famous genius is only literature, we can not get a home just by rubbing lamps, although it sounds ideal, don’t you think? You and I know in our hearts that our home must be built.

What does it take to build a “good” home?

Already set in the task of building a peaceful and pleasant home, it is worth asking ourselves, what characteristics would a “good home” possess?

The doctor in philosophy Antonio Argandoña, shares us in his book The home: multidisciplinary reflections, that “a good home” is not a closed concept in which we must meet certain requirements, since people are of all types and origins. Instead, the author gives us a free but clear definition: «A home is a collaborative project with a purposeor common «.  

Does any common purpose serve?

In his reflections, this Spanish doctor and expert suggests that ” each family must find its project ,  probably based on what its environment and history offer it “.

Now, this purpose must seek to perfect and uplift our family. Having a high purpose that pulls us up is the difference between building a “good home” and just living together.

It is not the same to be a community of beings who seek their individual development, to seek to grow in love, strengthen our character, overcome our selfish inclinations and grow in solidarity.

What factor could stop the growth of a good home?

The purpose is already a great advance, but it is not the only thing to consider to build this home that leads us to fulfillment.

Imagine that you have to travel a long way with your family .  To do this, you will cross different and complicated terrain: sand, stones and perhaps some mud puddles. What conditions do they require to be able to reach the goal successfully ? In the first place, everyone knows where they will go, accompany and help each other, and have the conditions to travel: suitable footwear and supplies.

You head there, but you find that you know your destination (your purpose), but your family does not have food, water, or adequate footwear. What will your tour be like? It will surely be more difficult, and painful. It is likely that you will have to stop constantly, and it is uncertain if they will all be able to arrive, and if they do, they will probably all arrive injured.

When the “road” hurts

The stony road, with mud and stones, are the emotional wounds of the family members, the economic situation, the parents’ resources to get ahead, the moral environment, the spiritual maturity.

You and I want to have a happy family. We know that for that there must be harmony in our personal life, and in our relationships with those who share our home. How difficult to walk looking for a purpose if the path is complicated!

Dr. Argandoña shares his reflections with us, stating that these factors stop and impede the family’s path towards its purpose, and form what the author knows as a “broken” home.

Do you and I have a broken home?

“A ‘broken’ home destroys or, at least, hinders the normal development of people’s lives, and this ends up damaging the home environment and society,” continues the author.

Having a “broken” home stops us in constant and annoying obstacles that distract us from the road. These obstacles create a dark cloud around the family that prevents them from seeing the path, the purpose. Sometimes this haze prevents them from even seeing each other.

The lack of order at home, the lack of direction, the inconstancy of parents, authoritarianism, the lack of spiritual life ,They are heavy shackles that will prevent the necessary oxygenation of your family. And you know that walking, moving and moving forward with shackles is very difficult.

How do you heal a “broken” home?

Homes that are broken by unjust social circumstances: unemployment, bad economic situation, etc., require our support in solidarity. You can always give support, advice, or some type of resources to allow the basic development of these people, that thanks to something that you have left over, they can have the basics.

In addition to our social conscience, and support for those who have the least, we all have an obligation to conquer ourselves, and heal ourselves as parents, children, brothers and spouses. In this way, we can cleanse the heart.

A clean heart is what will allow you to build your home with the fewest possible obstacles.

Building a home: founding it on rock

If you are about to get married, or if you already have a family, it does not matter! Because it is always time to start over, fortunately.

Today, we want to share with you the resource that Jesus offers us in His word: found our family on rock, on God.

Let’s look at the passage in the Gospel, quoting from chapter 6 that Saint Luke wrote:

A man, building a house, dug deeply and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood occurred, the torrent broke against that house, but it could not destroy it because it was well built. “

When Jesus, with his apostles, used this parable, he was referring to man’s need to do good: “there is no good tree that produces bad fruit.”

How to be a “good tree”?

If you want to found a real home, you must worry about laying the foundations on the teachings and love of God, and to begin with, as a father, you must always try to bear “good” fruits for our own.

What are these good fruits ?: love , forgiveness, delivery, service, turn the other cheek.

Healing the home, or building it from its foundations, is possible. We already know that the journey is an honest and coherent Christian experience, one that lovingly gives itself entirely to others.

Let Christ enter our lives, He will remove the obstacles that our fallen nature makes stand in the way of our family and will help us to advance with a firm step. Come on!

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