The photo of Victoria Beckham kissing her daughter on the lips sparked worldwide controversy. We tell you what is best for your children.
A few days ago the controversy captured the attention of the world after the famous Victoria Beckham, published a photo of her kissing her daughter on the mouth along with an affectionate message that said: ‘Happy birthday daughter. We all love you very much. Kisses from mommy. ‘
Although it is less common in our culture, it is not something alien to us; in fact, many parents have this practice with their children, at least while they are young. Both the general public and the specialists have offered their views refuted either with studies or with their own experiences, and although there is no consensus on this practice, these conclusions shed light on the dilemma.
It is bad
One of the best-known positions in the United States is that of Dr. Charlotte Reznick, a psychologist at the University of California UCLA who says that a ‘peck’ on the lips of children by their parents can cause confusion.
“If you start kissing your children on the mouth when they are little, when should you stop? It’s extremely confusing,” says Reznick.
Dr. Reznick notes that as children grow out of babies, when they reach 5 or 6 years of age and begin to become aware of their bodies and sexuality, “the kiss on the lips can be stimulating.”
From his point of view, kissing children on the lips is tremendously confusing. The fact that they see their father and mother kiss on the mouth and then father and mother come and do the same with them, makes them confuse the roles, sensations, emotions and feelings.
The question of when to stop seems like the solution, but the ages at which a child discovers the difference between the sexes does not always occur at the same time.
In my particular case, I come from a family that is not very demonstrative physically. We love each other, but we don’t say it or show it with kisses or hugs. This fact has always been something that bothered me and from a very young age I decided that when I had a family of my own, kisses and hugs would be something that happened all the time.
When my daughters were born in America, almost on impulse I got into the habit of kissing my daughters on the lips, and it always seemed kind of cute. But almost instinctively, I stopped when they were both around 18 months old; And stopping this practice, it felt as natural as starting it, I felt it was the right thing to do, and I never actually consulted anyone about it.
La Dra. Fiona Martin of Child Psychology central Sydney, is in total disagreement with the previous position.
She considers it aberrant to think that the kisses of parents on the lips of their children can be considered something too sexual. «It is normal and healthy that you show affection for your children. You are communicating to your children that you love them, ”explains Martin in a local Australian newspaper.
She also claims that there is no documentation to prove that kisses on the children’s mouth leave any sequelae or disorder.
On the other hand, Dr. Heather Irvine-Rundle suggests that Dr. Reznick’s conclusion is outrageous. «It does not take into account relationships that are healthy and in which you can trust. There is nothing sexual about kissing a baby on the lips.
Irvine-Rundle adds that Reznick’s reasoning that this practice confuses minors by not letting them know who to kiss makes her laugh.
Until what age?
Perhaps what most bothered the people who reacted to the photo published by Beckham, is not the kiss on the lips, but the age of his daughter. This sparked controversy as to how long this behavior is allowed.
The facts show that there are parents who kiss their children on the lips throughout their lives. To many just thinking about this twists their stomachs, while to the rest of the world, this seems totally natural.
Apparently all we have are positions and in reality there seems to be no scientific evidence to prove any of the positions mentioned.