Loving a child with our whole being does not imply indulging in whims and faults. Educating him in righteousness is the true sign of our love and concern for his life.
A mother who knows her children knows her children can be some at school and others totally different at home, she knows their scope and also their limits and above all, she understands that much of the behavior of her children is directly related to her as a mother.
Baúl de ideas recently released the conclusions reached by a study by the University of Washington, which confirmed the idea that many mothers already knew:
Children behave worse with their mother than with anyone else. Children do not obey, they cry more, they are much more defiant of authority when their mother is in the same room.
It is worth mentioning that this study was carried out with 500 families and tantrums, desire to hit and disobedience were taken into account.
In this study it was discovered that children from 8 months of age could perfectly be playing quietly and as soon as the mother entered the room, 995 of them became louder and more demanding and if a voice other than the mother gave instructions, the children responded more positively.
This is due to the security that the child has in his mother, he knows that she will always love him whether he behaves badly or well and therefore “abuses” that power he has.
We say “abuse” in short words because the child in these young ages does not do it consciously, it is to some extent normal. The problem comes when the child grows up and now he realizes that no matter what his parents do, they will receive him in their arms.
So what can we do?
Love is not up for discussion
At no time should it be understood that the child should be limited or punished by ceasing to love so that he behaves well. A child should never be told things like: I’m going to stop loving you! My heart breaks when you do that! I do not love you anymore! You are no longer my son! And other such terrible phrases.
Never forget this: We always love the child, wrong behaviors are those that are not acceptable.
Discipline is love in action
To discipline a child is to worry about his training. And we are clarifying: disciplining is not hitting, hurting, offending or physically punishing in any way, stopping to speak to him or isolating him is not discipline, all of the above is violence and that destroys the soul of a child.
When we say that disciplining is love in action, it refers to out of love for our child, teaching him to behave, to live in society, to work, to serve others and to be productive to his society.
Clear limits and rules
The rules, norms of conduct and limits must be clear, congruent and at the child’s level of understanding. Avoid punishments and apply more natural and logical consequences, without the need to fight or argue.
The child must know what is expected of him
Sowing dreams, values, and noble goals in young minds add a lot to adolescent behavior.
Never reward inappropriate, vulgar, or offensive behavior
The greatest challenge that parents have is precisely being able to provide children with security and the undoubted knowledge of our love for them and all the good that we know they can achieve.