Decide to make a change right now, before your children keep the word “desperate” in their memories to refer to the years by your side. Home life for your children can be like hugging a cactus every day
You work long hours, you come home and you want to have a little peace, but you find a faulty tap (water tap), the toys scattered on the floor, among other disorders: but it is in the way you react what makes your Children choose to be home when you arrive or to be away from it. Home life for your children can be similar to hugging a cactus every day.
The responsibility of looking after your children includes more than having clean clothes, satisfied whims, the refrigerator (the refrigerator) full and a lot of accumulated technology on the bed.
Winning the hearts of your children is the greatest achievement you can achieve in this life
But I see that you insist with your attitudes, in spoiling everything. The apostle Paul knew very well what he was talking about when he said: “And you fathers, provoke not your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6: 4).
You provoke the wrath of your children
when you just enter the house and dedicate yourself to remarking again the negative things that they have done during the day and forget to praise the positive ones. A low grade on your grades makes a nice gesture to the widow on the other block nothing. A lost school supply seems to outweigh his words of encouragement for a classmate who has just lost her mother. Your children are about to explode with rage, but you continue without realizing it, you imprison yourself in the prison of duty and forget that sometimes life is more than not leaving crumbs on the tablecloth. Yet you take a generous serving of cactus and say with your mouth full: “Nobody respects me at home.”
Your children want to go far away, every day they rush through the almanac pages in their minds and dream of being of legal age so that they will not see you again, not even your hair. Rules, limits, responsibilities are necessary but they become explosive when nothing you say has a touch of love. Your eldest son does not even keep you up to date with his life, the middle one selects very well what he is going to tell you and the youngest that you searched so much, is already thinking about the boyfriend who will get her out of that hell. With your words you throw napalm bombs in their memory, the lack of tenderness is emptying their hearts of you.
How about you stand aside? I know it sounds harsh, but you have to make that part of you that drives them away go away. Please, decide to make a change right now, before the word “maddening” is remembered to refer to the experience of the years with you. The apostle Paul brings you an eternally valid solution: “Put on love, which is the perfect bond” (Col 3:14). To do this, stop using the defeatist language so common in you to mark your mistakes or failures. Any mistakes they’ve made can be a school of learning if you encourage them to keep going. Point out what you do not like without labeling them, it is not the same that they remember your voice saying “You are a disaster” to “I see you have difficulty with some subjects.”
Look them in the eye; take their hands like when they were children, they still long for your hugs.
Do not make judgments, and let them name their emotions and express them without embarrassment, show them that you are real: “I know what you feel, I also usually want to cry when something frustrates me.”
Do not demand, rather ask that they collaborate and delegate responsibilities
For example, instead of yelling or scolding, just tell them: “Kids, the snack is ready, I’ll wait for you to set the table together.”
Your kids don’t like having a big cactus at home, so set a goal to eradicate thorns. Love, without a doubt, will change your attitude and your face, but above all it will make your children love you and yearn to be by your side.