Forgiving and forgetting offenses is of great human beings. I forgive, but I don’t forget: my personal experience with forgiveness
Forgiveness is a divine act that confers a lot of will, humility and love for others. However, some people misunderstand it. And generally, such people are the ones who, paradoxical as it may sound, seek to be forgiven. Let us start from the point that we are “simple” human beings, and that acts such as forgiving or giving one’s life for someone we love are carried out by people with a fairly high spiritual quality, with zero selfishness; that is where the difficulty lies, and I will tell you why.
Let’s look at the following example: a person whom you really appreciated has betrayed you, and after many events the one who hurt you comes back to you and wants to regain the place they had in your life. Honestly, do you think it is possible for you to “return” that place that he lost as treacherous? Or I ask another way, would you trust that person with all your heart again?
My personal attitude towards forgiveness
If they asked me the question that closes the previous paragraph, I must say that I cannot trust again.
As for me, I am able to forgive but not with that lofty vision of restoring the trust that he lost because of his disloyalty. I couldn’t, it would be like defrauding myself and giving that person the opportunity to “take advantage of my nobility” when they want it again. On the other hand, what if I am capable of doing less is betrayal, that is, I can live without constant pain for the damage caused, I do not torture myself insistently, nor do I seek revenge for what they did to me; I just go on with my life and do my best to be happy, since now I know who to take care of.
Okay, I know it doesn’t sound good at all, but I can’t preach something I don’t do. Despite the above, I do have to warn you: forgiving is great, being able to “turn the other cheek” is admirable and there are a good number of people who are capable of doing it, but I cannot say the same. I get that “I forgive, but I do not forget” and I will tell you why: if I forget, I do not learn the lesson, therefore I would not have the valuable gift that the fact of failing or losing leaves us, which is indeed that: learning .
Not forgetting an offense does not equal hatred
This seems important to me to clarify. The significant fact that I cannot forget an offense is not the same as every time I meet the person who was disloyal to me, I make an unhealthy comment, or that I look for a way to hurt him or that my life goes away. May he not have peace of mind for what he did to me, of course not, and I do not agree with that.
Important benefits of the act of forgiveness
One wonderful thing about the act of forgiveness is that you free yourself from the pain and pain caused; In other words, you do it for your own good. Being at peace with yourself makes you immediately give peace of mind to those around you and you love.
On the other hand, you should not overlook that someone behind you (children, nephews, partner, friends) is aware of seeing your reaction and following your example, then, that is an even more valid reason for you to get out of your head the desire to avenge you.
Another aspect that you should not overlook is that life always returns what you give it, call it karma or whatever you wish, the point is that that will always happen. I’m not telling you that you sit around and wait to see how life “takes its toll” on whoever hurt you; Not at all, what I am saying is that you continue living your life, learn what you must learn and pray for your opponents so that their fall will not be more painful than yours.
This article is something of a confession. I am not the person to share my personal experiences, but I believe that in these times human beings need experiences like this so that they realize that many have gone through similar events and have been able to move on with their lives. I sincerely hope my learning will help you.
readlearn to forgive your past
On the other hand, if you want a different perspective entirely,
readIf you forgive, you must also forget