Does your husband believe the same? Maybe he should.
The resounding affirmation of the psychologist Alberto Soler Sarrió, which many find a bit ‘macho’, has caused more than one reaction, but everything changes when you read the rest of the content of his publication that has been shared thousands of times on the networks.
Sarrió, who is a married psychologist and father of two children, caused a controversy that, in reality, is beautiful
His publication says: “Before having children I have never been one of those couples or husbands who help his wife with the housework.”
“But my wife has never helped me either.”
“And when the children arrived, things continued more or less the same: I have not helped him with the house or now with the children. There will be someone who has not yet caught what the thing is about and is thinking wonders about me and taking pity on my wife (poor thing, she has often touched him!). No, I don’t help my wife with the children because I can’t help someone with something that is my entire responsibility.
Household chores are NOT the property of either the man or the woman
Then he continues with one of the most egalitarian statements that I, in particular, have ever seen: “children, like housework, are not anyone’s heritage: they neither belong to women nor do they belong to men. They are the responsibility of both. For this reason it offends me when, in a very well-intentioned way (I am aware) they flatter me with “how much I have helped my wife.” As if they weren’t my children or it wasn’t my responsibility. I do, with great effort and pleasure, neither more nor less than what corresponds to me. Like my wife. And no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to do as much and as well as she does.
A principle that should NOT be news because it should be seen in the same way
If we think about it, those of us who have a job outside the home, for which we receive remuneration, do so without the help of anyone. That is, they hire us to do something for which they will pay us, and it becomes our full responsibility and, in most cases (if not all), we cannot ask someone else to do the work for us; Unless we are talking about a subcontractor.
The family, for which money is not received in exchange but love, is a similar institution in which its members enter with the sole obligation of loving and respecting each other, seeking the good and happiness of all its members. Therefore, each one is, in a way, obliged to do whatever it takes to keep this institution afloat.
Equal ‘equity’ over household chores may be the formula for a happy family
This is not about machismo and feminism, but about equality. If we want to refer to ‘our’ family, then we must all cover the part that we played that day so that everything remains afloat.
Although there are roles with which men or women feel more identified, none is exclusive of a gender when maintaining a family. Just as a woman is fully trained to wash a vehicle, a man is fully trained to iron, wash, cook, and do other chores around the home.
“The difference between a happy marriage and a miserable one: housework”
This title, published in The Atlantic, was titled to reveal the result of a survey released in 2007 by the Pew Research Poll in which it was concluded that sharing responsibility for housework is extremely important for success in the couple.
Incredibly, although many say that this is a modern concept (which I do not deny), the survey did not show variation among the people who participated regardless of age or marital status, that is, the elderly also think the same.
The secret is not in accusing the other of not helping, but in knowing how to share the heritage of the tasks at home
Many men and women fall into the error of not letting them help us, or rather, that our partner actively participates in household chores, later protesting the lack of action on the part of the other.
And the answer to this situation is easier than it seems, you just have to put it into practice.
Marriage or family is like everything new in life; having a child, getting married, changing jobs, etc. We are ‘animals’ of habit and we are the ones who get used to our partners well or badly.
In order to feel equally responsible for household chores, we must behave by letting others know that this is how things work and by not making ourselves the owners of certain tasks and then protesting.
Communication is the most important
For there to be success in a relationship there are three elements that are essential: love, respect and good communication. Remember that you did not marry a fortune teller and that change begins with communication (not the unnecessary yelling or complaining).