Have you stopped believing in true love? Experts will guide you to identify, whether or not this feeling exists with your partner.
Every time they met, their hearts beat rapidly, their cheeks reddened, and it seemed that time stopped for an instant. The physical attraction was so great that they couldn’t wait to unite their souls and bodies, to show their love.
She thought she had finally found true love, however, after a few months, the passion and the relationship ended.
After overcoming the duel, she found love again, a man who did not attract her so much physically, but who made her feel protected, since he was 12 years older than her. The relationship did not last long either; she felt she was getting too much protection, as if her boyfriend were her father.
After so many attempts to find true love, I come to think that it did not exist. Perhaps, you identify with the story of my friend by questioning the same thing; It may even be that you are with a stable partner and have the concern to know if you are with true love.
Where is the true love?
We are all immersed in the journey to find true love, to feel loved by a person who makes us feel our hearts vibrate, who provides us with protection, security and most importantly, that lasts for a lifetime.
Finding the true love of a partner is not as simple as you think; since it is a special and unique connection, which goes beyond a feeling, and not a simple sexual or emotional attraction. As it saysErich fromm ” Love is an art .”
It must be affirmed that love is subjective, since we can all interpret it in different ways. There are those who think that true love is the connection in intimacy, with respect, with coexistence, with sacrifices. But how to identify true love?
Erich Fromm affirms that to make love an art is to understand that loving someone is not a passive act, but a constant dedication and work. Therefore, love is something reciprocal, which must be given and received, and must be cared for every day by the two people involved.
Within love relationships, there are powerful elements to identify true love, for example:
1 Exit triumphant
The psychologist Jed diamond, affirms that in love there are five stages; The first is falling in love, when the two people are physically attracted and emotions are experienced with intensity.
The second creates a bond with the loved one, making a commitment, where responsibilities are acquired; the third is disappointment, when the defects become more visible, they sometimes become incompatible and intolerant by the couple.
The fourth is overcoming crises and true love ; It is when the idealizations of a perfect couple are left behind and there is a more realistic vision of the relationship; and the last one is when the two decide to stay together, overcoming all adversities.
Understanding these stages, true love is about an evolution in the couple. This occurs when emotional stability arrives, where both understand that they are human and love each other above their mistakes.
They become aware of how their actions could affect their loved one, creating empathy; they do not even need or depend on the other to feel happy.
2 Care and concern
These elements also imply another aspect of true love, it refers to responsibility. This must be understood as a voluntary act, which means being ready and willing to respond to meet the needs of the other, without becoming a sacrifice.
Caring for the partner and worrying about her are determining factors that denote a real commitment. It is knowing how to identify moods, provide the partner with security, protection, trust and stability.
It is about maintaining a mental and emotional state capable of lasting over time, in which we always acted to favor the well-being of the couple, to alleviate their suffering, to be interested in their concerns, to be complicit and to be present in the adversities.
3 Living in the “here and now”
To enjoy true love, couples must put past mistakes behind them and not be anxious about the uncertain future. It is about living in the present, enjoying each other as a couple, feeling the relationship with intensity, wisdom and hope; with the simple conviction that what is loved is cared for.
It is to make your daily relationship acquire meaningful, valuable and lasting moments; those moments that you live as unique, special and wonderful.
It refers to letting the couple have their individuality, to be realized in all the aspects they want, having personal goals and together. True love is when together they create a solvent presence, of support, trust and respect.
It is to be united, to be encouraged, motivated and not to let oneself fall or win; it is feeling that unconditional support that makes us stronger.
5 I love you just the way you are
The psychologist Ramon Torres ,Explain that real love is shown when you accept your partner with all their flaws, mistakes; with its nuances, virtues and greatness; It is not about changing the partner.
Maybe you don’t like some behaviors, habits, customs or ideas; however, we must accept and appreciate its essence, its personality, its identity, which makes it unique.
To conclude, true love exists, it is more than a feeling, it is a commitment that is acquired with the loved one, which includes constant work, in which the couple must support each other to be successful in the face of adversity.
The road is not easy but not impossible, remember that feeling loved is the most wonderful and beautiful thing we can experience.