It is contradictory to think that for the simple fact of having more information and access to contraceptive methods, adolescents will avoid STDs or pregnancies, nothing is more false than that. Your children need your guidance and your experience
I believe that all parents are interested in our children becoming good and happy people; We want them to study, work, become committed citizens, and raise good families. It is precisely this last point that we often see frustrated at an early age, when an unplanned pregnancy comes into the lives of our children. What can we do to support them more and better in this situation? What can we do so that their lives continue and they become happy ?:
Prevention starts with education
My husband and I are the parents of three daughters, two of whom are university students, the youngest is in high school and the oldest is already planning marriage for next year. We live in a beautiful bay that connects with the Pacific Ocean and every day we have the opportunity to see the sea and the boats of all kinds that dock in the port. It is common for us to come and go of these boats and, in some cases, to know and experience the storms that affect them and that unfortunately sometimes have killed them. Our children are in some way those boats and we, parents and grandparents, eventually become “safe ports” for them. As children they are like those canoes, pangas or small boats that have fun safely in the arms of the bay, go fishing, take tourists and are generally fun and cheerful. If they have never been warned properly, not even by mistake, they would dare to leave the safety of the port to face the open sea; However, there are small boats that without being prepared go to sea without the proper preparation and face terrible consequences. These boats are our teenagers, who start a premature sexual life and are suddenly waiting for a baby. It is our obligation to be the first to speak and educate about sexuality, and not let the school or second people educate on this topic. Clearly teach your home rules regarding chastity, intimate relationships before marriage, and what you expect them to do in risky situations.
Trust and dialogue
When our children are children, it is easy to talk to them about anything, but as they grow up that communication channel becomes a bit more complicated; However, it is pertinent to try to keep it open by all possible means in order to communicate: 1. Our unconditional love, 2. Our support when problems arise and 3. Our openness to listen without judgment. Parents are that beacon of light that indicates to boats where home is, where we are always waiting for them no matter the situation they are in, and that as much as it hurts to tell them that you will always support them.
«To go loosening moorings», to drop the ship before time
This is how you feel when a teenage daughter becomes pregnant, because she will start a raging journey out to sea with a great storm on the doorstep. The recriminations, the disappointment and the bitterness of seeing your frustrated plans in her should be put aside and start preparing your daughter to face what is to come. Pampering her or solving “her problem” are not good options if you want her dreams and goals to be fulfilled in the future. The adolescent mother must begin to mature faster and must soon assume the consequences of her actions, and change her life to take responsibility for the child to come. Praying, talking, asking for advice will help you as a family to face this storm, but you have to let her and her partner – if she has one – take responsibility and that you do not solve their problems is the principle of “letting go” and allowing Young captains gain experience in one of the most difficult ways. Just remember: even the worst storms end and the sun rises again.
Accompany them to good port
Everyone, even the most immense ships, from time to time needs a small trailer that will take them to a safe port and dock without risk of impact. You are that little trailer that shows direction but doesn’t push, pulls smoothly and never replaces the ship’s own engines. Parents must constantly remember that we are educating and raising children so that one day they will leave, form their own families and achieve their personal goals; they must go out to sea, know and enjoy its wonders, and we cannot and must not keep them tied up forever in our port for fear of getting hurt or injured. All of us, one day, wanted to go to the sea as well and explore it and then return home, look for the lighthouse that shows us the way to return home again and again.