Asking for forgiveness is a value of human beings. It is also valid in your marriage, although there are several types.
You forgive me? Without a doubt, it turns out to be one of the most difficult requests to make because it implies accepting that one has made a mistake, which generates in most people a certain discomfort, which increases in level when it must be accepted before another person.
The margin of error is also important in these cases because depending on this it will make it more difficult still offer an apology. That is, if you step on an individual on the street, you turn around and automatically say “excuse me”, but if you made a comment about someone close to you (family member, friend, co-worker, neighbor) and it turns out that it was not true, it weighs even more so.
Even with the couple it happens and this request is not facilitated, for example with the cell phone, you see that he is sending and receiving frequent messages and you immediately begin to think that there is another woman in the way, you get upset with him until you manage to see his messages And when you see that it was your family or friends you don’t even know how to get out of the problem without asking for forgiveness. Apparently the closer you are, the more complicated it becomes.
What is forgiveness and its credibility
Undoubtedly one of the capacities that the human being has with an extreme mission: to undo what has already been done and to achieve credibility as defined by the German thinker Hannah Arendt “forgiveness (certainly one of the greatest human capacities and perhaps the most daring of actions to the extent that it attempts the seemingly impossible, undoing what has been done and achieving a new beginning where everything seemed to have ended) is an action that ends with a single act ».
However, great care must be taken in how it is ordered and its frequency. It loses complete credibility if it is done frequently and always in the same way, like a husband who is unfaithful to his wife once, the wife finds out, they talk and the husband assures him that it will never happen again but it comes back to do it again and history repeats itself many more times until the woman finishes it, although the man assures her that he has learned the lesson, his words are no longer credible.
Apologizing has its variants to offer
1. Assertive apology
It is a way of softening the request by putting the word “I’m sorry” (sorry but I didn’t think you wanted an ice cream ”, this shows the ability to manage and prevent conflicts, even if it is not taken as a sincere apology.
2. Reversal of guilt apology
This type is very peculiar because it is an apology for something that deep down the other person knows to be true, even if you don’t like it “I’m very sorry that you bother to wash the dishes but they don’t wash themselves.”
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3. Plastic apology
Adewale describes it as a ‘false’ apology, the one that is not felt, it is only done by convention, the one that is said orally but her corporal expression totally denies it.
4. Circular apology (roundabout)
It has to do with the example that I spoke before, when a person makes a mistake, apologizes, makes the same mistake again and a circle of these factors is formed in which there is really no feeling of real change.
5. Sincere apology
In the first place, it must come from the heart, you must realize that you were really wrong, try to put yourself in his place, show regret, offer something to restore the damage and change that habit.
Being able to offer an apology makes you great because it helps you grow by seeing your mistakes and changing them, therefore it will make you grow with your partner and be a great example for your children.