How many times have you felt like a failure as a mother? Here I give you a series of reasons why you are not.
“Mom, are you crying?” Javier asks, noticing that his mother quickly wipes her eyes when she sees him appear. Tenderly, Rosario tells him: «No son. The thing is, dust got into my eyes and they sting me ».
How many times has “dirt” got into your eyes since you were a mom? How many times have you felt that you are failing at the tasks of a “good” mother? If you asked me those questions, I would answer that I lost count. Yes, I lost count when I discovered that after all, I also have the right to fail and continue to learn from this beautiful process.
My son was not born with an instruction manual under his arm. I also didn’t go to a place where they taught me to be a mother, so what more can I ask for? Obviously I was wrong, but every day I give myself a new opportunity to do better. I have also learned to forget all those thoughts in which I blame myself for being a failure, giving myself permission to do the following things and recognizing that there is nothing wrong, nor is it a sign of weakness.
1. When necessary, cry
Yes, crying purifies the soul, helps to leave bad times behind and calms us down. I have never understood why women fight to show our children that we must be strong, we know everything and we are magical. We are doing it wrong! We cannot let them know that adults have no right to make mistakes, cry and learn a lesson from it.
Relee: This video finally explains why every mother is a hero. You will cry!
2. Trust your instincts
If I had counted the innumerable absurd advice they gave me (and which of course I did not ask) for my son to eat, sleep, grow and learn “better,” I would surely have a Guinness Record on my resume. I have started to listen to my instincts, giving way to doing what I think is best for him and of course, I turn to my support network when I feel like I don’t know how to handle a situation.
3. Don’t make up for your absences
When I first started working, I felt terribly guilty for having to do it, but as time went by I realized that in addition to being a mother I am a person, that like my son I need personal and professional growth and I must also meet the needs of our family. I stopped buying hundreds of toys, to make way for quality time when we are together. We go out for the weekend to a place that interests him, I help him with his homework, I accompany him to train and countless other things, with a mother 100% present.
Relee: How to attend my children’s activities, if I work all day?
4. Learn to value yourself
Not only am I a “good mother,” I also have other positive characteristics, strengths, and gifts. They all count too, and these are not made any less if I make mistakes.
Relee: A healthy self-esteem will help you to be loved better.
Always remember that you are not just the “mom of”; love yourself and leave negative thoughts behind, because I can assure you that you are a spectacular mother. Don’t let blame them, advice you haven’t asked for, or anything else make you feel like a failure, as you are not. You are simply wonderful.