Do not your mind and your heart flood a marathon of comments that remind you of things, harass you and even ridicule you? Childhood and adolescence are the favorite spaces for the deepest wounds.
It’s 7 am, the water is boiling, the mint chip is ready. Five minutes later, four pieces of toast pop out of the toaster. Without knowing its destination, the homemade peach jam does its job and I’m sure the day will be brilliant.
Why did you eat four toasts instead of two? Why didn’t you go out earlier? You’re going to miss the bus! …
An incessant tide of internal conversations crowds into my mind. Don’t think that I need to adjust my medication or take a new one. It is that I have the habit of talking alone with me all the time from the moment I get up until the night.
Don’t you do it? Do not your mind and your heart flood a marathon of comments that remind you of things, harass you and even ridicule you? I believe that we are all in some way a life member of the “self-harm tendency” club.
How hard we respond to the beautiful phrases that come from others who are not our family or friends:
—I love your profile picture, you look fantastic (you get 157 likes from your contacts)
—I appreciate the comments, but I think it’s because of the effect of the light
You know? I believe that we must eradicate that false concept of humility that does not allow us to accept praise for fear of becoming proud or that our narcissistic streak will be awakened. So we grow up with a pattern firmly ingrained in our psyche of rejection of everything gentle and kind about us, to the point that we are not even able to realize it.
Tracing the origin
I was never good at sports, so gym time at high school was my worst time. When my classmates had to choose teammates I was the last choice. The only year that I was completely happy was when I broke my arm and they exonerated me from the matter. It was as if an internal voice told me “You are brilliant at mathematics and the rest of the disciplines, but in this you have no life.” Childhood and adolescence are the favorite spaces for the deepest wounds. Perhaps you too have spent your days dodging the bullets of sarcastic comments or giggles in the hallways.
Park on the side of the road
When negative comments towards yourself invade you, stop the vehicle of wounds and ask questions to that inner voice, can I change something? If you can change something, do it, if not, get in the car of affirmation and continue on your way. If the voice tells me “that blouse looks awful on you”, I look in the mirror and look for a necklace or something that will help me look better, but if it really suits me, I finish fixing and I go out to look as radiant as ever .
Be rude, interrupt the conversation
Don’t let that conversation turn into a thesis against you. Cut the destructive inner monologue and ask a different question or bring up another topic. By doing this you will have broken the negative chain. “You could have given the class better” can be interrupted with “Did I tell you that the more restless students were attentive?”
Schedule negative colloquia
Schedule an hour a day when you feel free from negativity. When a criticism or negative idea comes, say to yourself: “Sorry, there is no time for this now. You’re going to have to wait until nine at night, or when I spend ten minutes filling my head with fears. ” At that appointed time, write down negative thoughts and work on them. “You talked too much” can be a reason to learn to listen.
When someone in your mind opens the refrigerator and takes out the antidote to the poison of approval, use it, not waste it. It’s time to follow these tips and put an end to negativity. Accepting that people affirm us as people, and affirming ourselves is part of loving ourselves. Please start today.