Children use various tactics to manipulate adults and the tantrum is one of the most effective, since parents, to avoid problems with such behavior, have access to the whims of the infant. Find out how to control them.
Children often use various tactics to manipulate adults and the tantrum is one of the most effective, since many times parents, to avoid problems with this behavior, easily access the whims of the infant. Many adults think that children do not understand, but they know, know and understand more than you can imagine, because children are very perceptive and study us all the time.
This type of behavior generates two responses from the parents. The first consists of quickly granting the child’s demands and the second, on the contrary, consists of responding aggressively and with hostility. However, both are wrong, since all they do is reinforce the problem.
If we agree, the child will know that every time he wants something, it will be enough for him to throw a tantrum and he will get it. But if we act with hostility, a powerful struggle of forces will be generated that will only bring energy waste, discomfort, and injuries that can harm the child. What to do then to successfully overcome the problem? There are four steps as part of a tactic or procedure, which are quite effective, since they will allow you to control and over time even avoid tantrums in the child:
Never lose control
As difficult as it may sound, it is very important that you do not lose control. As parents we must never equate ourselves with the children, because they must know who the authority is and by putting ourselves at the level of the child’s behavior, respect will be lost and the situation will get out of hand. Remember that hostile behavior should not be answered with the same, as it will generate total chaos.
Take it to an empty room
whenever possible, or at least where there are no objects with which they can hurt themselves, because in the most serious cases, children tend to throw things, hit each other or even fall to the ground.
Say the following slowly and calmly
“Look, if you want something you should calm down, because that way I’m not willing to talk to you. So when you calm down we will discuss the matter. For now I will leave you alone, and I will be outside (in the living room, in the room, in the kitchen, specifically clarify the place where you are going to be, this in order for the child to understand that his behavior does not affect or affect you what you are doing), and when you are willing to speak calmly there I will wait for you ”.
So back off and leave it alone
In this way, he will understand that you are not willing to give in to his whims, that you are the one who sets the rules and, above all, that you are not going to “submit” to his behavior or strategy.
This in case the problem occurs at home, but if the tantrum occurs on the street, in a store or public place, in a very calm way you will tell him that they will talk at home and you take him away from the place. At home, even if the child has already calmed down and you have, you should return to the topic by telling him that you are very dissatisfied with his behavior and that he should therefore be punished.
You must also clarify that you are not willing to allow that behavior to be repeated and you punish him by taking away any activity that he likes or not by letting him go out to play for a day, or however you punish him when he behaves badly, that depends on you and what works best for your child.
These tactics not only help control the child’s tantrums in the process of it, but they will serve to reduce both in frequency and intensity considerably until they disappear over time, because the child understands that this behavior will not work for you.
Could it be that I don’t have enough authority with my children? Inappropriate behaviors in children. What to do? 5 Actions to control my child’s tantrums