This article explains the importance of discipline at home, avoiding physical or psychological punishment of children, through the practice of methods that help change behavior …
Discipline of children is a very deep subject that should not be taken lightly. In fact, as a parent, you may wonder what is the best way to discipline your children without becoming their enemy. The following are some factors to keep in mind that can be helpful when reprimanding or disciplining your kids:
1. Practice constructive criticism
When your children make inappropriate decisions or show inappropriate behavior, try to find a way to criticize them constructively. Use reflective questions, such as, for example: “Do you think this is appropriate attire for a party?”, “Why did you get mad at your brother?” or “What do you think you will achieve by reacting in this way?” Asking your children questions using constructive criticism, rather than humiliating them, is very valuable, because it avoids having to give a lecture that may be ineffective. At the same time, prepare your children to, in the future, receive criticism from another person without feeling offended and to listen for their own individual well-being.
2. Praise in public, admonish in private
Keep in mind that as a parent you should take advantage of every appropriate occasion when your children deserve praise to make it public or even out loud. Make sure they know that you appreciate their good decisions. On the other hand, when they make an unpleasant decision, avoid pointing it out in public, because doing so has no positive effect. Find a secluded place (when this happens at home, you can go to the patio, a bedroom or even the living room and if it happens in a public place you can go to the car, or a separate place) to talk with your child about what he has done. Instead of using the expression “do not do such a thing”, try to communicate that he has disappointed you with phrases such as “I felt very sad when you did …” or “It offends me when you say …” and explain why you feel that way. This will make it easier for your child to think and reflect on how her behavior is going to change and to express to you why she did or said this or that thing.
3. Show your authority with quality
Avoid being aggressive when you are angry. If you are angry or have lost your patience, take some time to think about how you are going to react. If you respond with impatience and aggression, you will regret the way you react, but it will be too late because the damage will have been done. Let your child know that you deserve to be respected when it comes to your authority, show it without arrogance and at the same time be firm in rebuke. The balance between these skills will make your child respect you and feel like doing good not only to please you, but because it is the right thing to do.
4. Keep your promises
This is essential for your children to appreciate your consistency as a parent. If you’ve promised them that you’re going to take away privileges if they don’t do their part or if they disobey, then have the consistency to do so. When they complain about why you have deprived them of such a privilege, take advantage of that opportunity to emphasize the fact that you keep your promises. If, on the contrary, you have promised them some special event or outing because of their good behavior, be sure to do so as well. Avoid promising something that you cannot deliver. Remember that complying with what you have promised will be a great ally when it comes to positively disciplining your children.
Finally, do not forget that although there is not only one concrete way to do it correctly, there are ways to exercise discipline at home effectively and at the same time helping children to learn day by day in a positive way.