If you have not discussed these issues with your future husband, do so now or prepare for big surprises.
For whatever reason, some couples walk down the aisle without having spoken honestly about issues that are really important to establishing and cementing a long and happy marriage.
What are the topics that you should honestly discuss with your partner?
1. When and how many children to have
How? Do we really have to talk about it? Of course! It is true that today we can project how and when to have children and perhaps tomorrow we will find out that we cannot have them; But trust me, planning forces us to think ahead. It also makes us wonder what we must do in the present to achieve those goals.
There are men who would like to have lots of children and whose wife would stay home to raise the family. But also today many young women do not want to have children, much less dedicate themselves to the home. In this sense, there are also cases in which the woman wants to stay at home to be a mother and the man asks that she join working life to supplement expenses and achieve the standard of living of her dreams. There are as many variants as there are people, therefore, it is essential to be honest with each other to reach agreements or, where appropriate, re-plan the relationship.
2. How to manage money
A very high percentage of divorces is related to money problems. Today many young men and women are financially independent, have careers, work, and make their own decisions about how to spend their money. However, things necessarily change when it comes to life as a couple. No one has the perfect recipe for organizing marriage finances. That, like the number of children they have, is something that the couple must decide by mutual agreement and, if necessary, rethink it several times in a sincere dialogue, with the sole purpose of preserving and strengthening the family.
Read: Healthy family finances amid a global economic crisis
3. Religion, values and principles that will live as a family
Something so valuable and important in the lives of many people, such as religion, beliefs and personal principles, is often omitted or overlooked in many relationships. Some people take it for granted that they will be able to change the other person only with their love, a fact that is impossible and that deep down seems to say that they do not fully accept their partner’s way of being. The same happens when someone drinks, smokes or has a habit or way of life that you do not like. It may be a situation that by itself your partner has not been able to overcome or that he is simply not interested in changing, so it is important that you keep in mind that joining someone is accepting and loving him as he is, not expecting him to change just for the fact that you ask.
I invite you to read: The pride of thinking that for you he will change
4. Diseases and problems that affect the present
Situations such as having had a previous marriage, children with another person, vices, hobbies, legal problems, degenerative diseases or of which one is a carrier, debts, congenital diseases and many other things, it is necessary to talk about them before getting involved in a relationship of all life. Imagine: my parents were married for 25 years, during all that time and even after they were divorced, my mother continued to blame my father who had lied to her about his age: he was older than her for many more years than he had told her. That feeling of deception – which could have been avoided – was the subject of discussions all their lives.
5. Personal goals and future plans
Nothing is sadder than meeting the perfect partner and discovering that life plans and projects do not match. He wants one thing and she wants another, they both seem to go in opposite directions and yet they love each other. What can be done in such cases? Again: Speak honestly, reach agreements, give in to each other without vain and selfish sacrifices (however contradictory it may be heard) or rethink the relationship.
You can’t stop reading: Do you know everything about your partner? Ideas to think about before you get married
There are many good relationships that do not transcend, that fail to make a marriage and separate, which is painful. But this is certainly less tragic than disappointment and disappointment might be as the years turn. Getting married is the most extraordinary life adventure I know and I know that it is a happy experience when both parties are sincere, love each other, work together, preserve their own lives and accept each other as they are. I wish yours is very, very happy.