You can raise it in a better way.
I grew up in the eighties and nineties; at that time it was still common for parents to physically punish their children when they did some mischief.
Personally, I was the “recipient” of a few spankings and yelling from my parents; the truth is that she was certainly very naughty.
It’s not that I’m justifying them; indeed, from time to time I reproach them for treating me that way. To be frank I don’t blame them; From what they have told me, I know that they went through the same experience, and not only my grandparents “corrected” them, but also their teachers, because they believed they had the right to hit other people’s children if they “misbehaved”.
What do health professionals say about corporal punishment?
I also have an anecdote about it. On one occasion my mother took me to the pediatrician, I was about 10 years old, I remember that a few days before the consultation she had hit me for something she had done.
When the doctor began to auscultate me (examine me), he noticed the already almost blurry marks that the rubber flip-flop had left on my leg.
Annoyed, the doctor looked at my mother and told her that it would never occur to him again to hit me with that type of flip-flops, that the medical consequences of this could lead to cancer, this due to the blood that was accumulated in the area of the blow . After that, my mother never hit me again.
It wasn’t that my mother hit me often; I had to do something very serious for her to lose patience and she will spank me or two, I think that was the only time she did it that way, but she certainly got the scare of her life.
What are doctors worried about?
The medical and psychological consequences that such punishments can have on a child.
Just to give a medical example we have the Shaken Baby Syndrome. This occurs when the caregiver loses patience over the baby’s crying and shakes him; It does not matter if the shaking is mild, moderate or severe, because depending on the degree of severity, the baby can have brain damage, go blind, suffer paralysis and could even lose her life. Do you see how serious it can be?
The newspapers are full of news of babies and children dying as a result of mistreatment by parents or those who care for them.
Now, leaving aside the physical aspect are the psychological damage. Experts on the subject affirm that the yelling and humiliation that parents sometimes use to scold their children cause them to develop low self-esteem, lose self-confidence and stop being independent. In addition, children begin to accumulate resentment and anger towards their parents, they will fear them instead of respect; which could make them more rebellious and challenging from now on, just to name a few negative effects.
So how should you act when your child is not behaving in the proper way?
If you got your dose of yelling and spanking and have dire memories of this, then act as you would have liked to be reprimanded.
When they comment on a fault, do not yell at them, speak clearly so that they know the consequences that the repetition of the mischief could bring.
I remember a show by a famous British babysitter who taught parents the proper way to reprimand children. One of the most famous “punishments” I remember was putting the child (according to her age) isolated from the rest of the family, facing the wall; if the child was 2 years old, then it was 2 minutes of reprimand.
Well, apparently it turned out well for her because the testimonies were good, it is also something that some experts in child behavior also recommend, its effectiveness is based on the need for care that the child wants to receive from their parents; Thus, they stop misbehaving and in return the punishment ends.
The truth is that today much more is known about the correct way to educate a child, without trauma, without accidents, without blows; with much love and wisdom. Also, what need to fall back on the methods of yesteryear when we can all be happy and better people in a less violent way?