Follow these tips to learn how to improve your relationship with those you love, connecting from the deepest side of your heart.
The Christmas and New Year’s season are, on the one hand, festive and merry. But also, on the other hand, stress: rush to buy gifts, prepare Christmas dinner, piñatas, expenses. All of this, plus the usual responsibilities, creates tremendous stress.
This stress is reflected in various ways; sometimes with physical discomfort, such as stomach pain, muscle pain, a feeling of emptiness, or chest pain. Sometimes it is reflected in a strong tension in your important relationships, where there is friction, even yelling. Others, suddenly you have the feeling of being out of reality, or that the present does not make sense. At other times, there is a cry that seems to be “out of nowhere” or without explanation.
It’s actually stress that speaks for you
And so, we forget the essentials of the festivities, of the vacations. We forget that the important thing is to share.
In many countries where it is cold on the holidays, the weather invites us to stay indoors. Inside the house, out of bed. This helps to feel the body, to feel to go towards the heart. Go inside to connect. Connect with ourselves, connect later with those we relate to.
Many times it is difficult to reconnect from this other deeper place. I share some ideas to achieve it.
Tips for connecting with yourself:
Stop running to do all the earrings. Stop for a coffee, or a delicious bath. Stop and feel what you need Rest maybe? Or a hug, cry; whatever it is, it’s valid. Spend a little time with you. Write a little about what happens to you. Sometimes you need to read yourself to be able to hear yourself.
2 Ask for help or share the obligations
In general, dinner is in the hands of one person, and this is usually very stressful. If the dishes are distributed, the load is usually less. Or better yet, if they meet in a house with a large kitchen, they can all cook together and generate more conviviality.
3 Put the cell phone in airplane mode
Unless there is a delicate situation, nothing happens if you reply to your messages until half an hour later.
When you manage to connect with you. You manage to connect with others. You also manage to empathize and be able to establish a healthier relationship, where you are not in a hurry to be cared for. You are able to take care of the relationship, since you already took care of yourself.
Connect with your loved ones
1 Make an exchange, but of letters
Sometimes it is difficult for us to put into words what is in our hearts. It’s easier to be able write it out, and deliver it. For those who receive the letter this becomes a personal treasure, because those words of affection will always be there for when you need them. In this letter you can recognize the other’s talents, share your favorite memories of him, or with him.
2 Look into my eyes
Sometimes people have a hard time looking into each other’s eyes. Looking at yourself is feeling again. Give space for it to come up. Look at him, rediscover on his face the affection, the wonder of this person who is with you. Sometimes it makes you laugh, but that same laugh also unites. Sometimes it makes you want to cry, and it’s feeling all the love. Maybe there are even things to work out with the other. Take the risk of approaching from a more real place.
3 Talk about personal topics
Talk to your loved ones about what is happening to you, ask for advice, ask them what they live, or even about his past.These themes generate closeness. Knowing stories of your close people that you did not know make you feel closer to them. Sharing your stories will also make them feel that close to you; that is to say, they will make them rediscover themselves perhaps in those stories, in aspects they did not know about each other.
Now, how do you go about connecting at a family gathering?
Tips for Christmas dinner:
1 Leave the cell phone
Connect with the people present, and send the absent messages sooner or later, when you are alone. But not when they are together as a family.
2 Question game
Each person asks a question and everyone answers it. They can be simple questions, for example: what is your favorite color. Or they can be deeper questions like what is your favorite memory of your life. This will make everyone interact in an interesting way. They will discover that there are aspects that they did not know about each other.
3 Board games
It can be dominoes, cards, or your childhood game. Games make for coexistence, laughter, and that we are with each other.
4 Take photos
Taking pictures together sometimes brings togetherness, laughter, ideas. Create a memory forever.
5 Gift set
Make a pantry gift, or hygiene gift, or neutral like socks. Then make a raffle with them, or try to open them with cloth gloves. This game will make them live together and be all present in the activity.
6 Dancing as a couple
Dancing sometimes brings people together. It makes them in the same rhythm, in the same tune.
7 Open conversation
Talk a lot, whether it’s external, or personal, family issues. Ask the family history. They can even give each one positive feedback to each member of the family. Give everyone a thank you. You can remember and share a memory of something that a family member has done for you.
And you, what other activities have you done as a family? What connects you with them?