In today’s society people who decide to remain virgins or chaste before marriage are ridiculed. A person who learns to control her sexual desires before marriage is less likely to be unfaithful to her spouse.
In today’s society, where people who decide to remain virgins or chaste before marriage are ridiculed and attacked, how can we remain firm in the ideal that our body is sacred and sexual relationships are fuller when they occur within ties? of marriage?
A person who learns to control his sexual desires before marriage is less likely to be unfaithful after marriage. Learning about chastity and applying it in our lives is something that can benefit everyone, both single and married.
To begin with, let’s define: what is chastity? Chastity means, in short, being sexually pure. It is to avoid having sex before marriage and once married to be faithful to the spouse. Chastity also encompasses thoughts, actions, and ways of expressing yourself.
Why is chastity important?
Once, when I was twelve years old, someone said to me: Take care of your chastity as the most valuable object you can have. Since I was a child, I was taught that I must control my human desires, that control over our passions is what separates us from animals. I remember hearing one person say, “It is impossible to contain myself from doing what I want.” That person just didn’t have enough discipline. Just as you have an appetite or “craving” for food and can be controlled, the same can be achieved with sexual desires.
Hundreds of times I have heard many of my friends say how unimportant chastity is to them. The phrase “It is not so important, why wait so long?”, Really only makes me reaffirm the importance that I should give it and how different I am. After I got married I understood why it was so important to wait. A sexual relationship means nothing if the two people do not love each other. When two people love each other and take care of each other sexually, it becomes a more special relationship and that first time when sharing something so intimate creates a bond that you can have with no one else. By doing this, you are giving your spouse the most precious thing about you. This makes their relationship so much sweeter, more united, and more sacred.
How to teach the importance of chastity?
The example of parents to their children is an essential part. The environment where it grows also has a lot to do with it. But I think the most effective way that I learned about chastity is when it was spoken to me directly about it. My parents sat down with me one day and told me how important it was to take care of myself sexually. My sisters accompanied me to buy modest clothes when I entered my adolescence and began to develop physically. Not even the media, girlfriends and friends, teachers and boyfriends could ever dissuade me that having sex before marriage was right. She had the correct and firm foundations to understand that she would lose something very important that she could never recover.
How to be chaste in marriage?
Some tips that could help a married couple stay chaste is:
Refrain from watching movies, magazines or television series with sexual content
No matter how much other couples recommend it, it is poison to your relationship.
For no reason are you alone with people of the opposite sex
I’m talking about your spouse’s friends, ex-boyfriends, work colleagues, and family members.
Do activities as a couple
Try to do activities with the couple that build up. Read books together, exercise, watch educational programs. It is important to watch your thoughts. It should always be remembered that when taking an action you should have had the idea before, even once.
Protect your marriage
Friends that you trust should not be at home or spend a lot of time with the family. You should also be careful not to tell intimate things about the marriage. Any discussion, taste, preferences, talks and activities are intimate.
Don’t talk about your spouse either badly or well with friends
I remember an experience my mother told me a few years ago: She told me that a friend (let’s call her Diana) had gotten engaged to a young man (Juan). They were days away from their wedding. But she had an argument with her fiancé, her best friend (Maria) stepped in to help. Unfortunately the wedding was canceled. A month later Diana received unexpected news: María, her best friend, was going to marry Juan. You would think that Diana learned her lesson, but she did not, she met another young man to marry (Pedro). Time passed and when they had been married for several years, Diana’s new best friend (Sara) who was also married (but did not have a happy marriage) made Pedro leave Diana and go live with her. Diana at the end of these two experiences gave this advice: Never let any friend of yours get so close to your family and never comment on intimate things about your relationship.
No matter how much trust you have in your spouse, no matter how much you take care of yourself as a married couple, there will always be temptations and weaknesses. You can easily avoid them by learning to put barriers around your marriage.
Surround yourself with people with the same ideals and goals
The best way to take care of your chastity as well as that of your marriage is to surround yourself with people who have the same values as you. Have girlfriends and friends who are looking to have a happy marriage. If you are not married yet, the same applies. Look for people with similar goals.
Take care of yourself chastely. Give yourself the courage you deserve as a human being. Learn how to take proper care of your family and your spouse. Always remember that you have infinite value. And that you and your spouse made a sacred covenant before God to care for, respect and love each other.