Learn the secret to enjoying a perfect body, and pass it on to your daughters. Build in your body your own version of the most beautiful woman in the world.
I recently had the opportunity to see this video in which a group of adults are asked what they would change about their body – if they could. Then they ask children this same question and the contrast between their responses is astonishing. I do not tell you in detail so that you can see the video and discover it yourself.
What I want to share with you, however, has a lot to do with said video. In general, as children we are better able to focus our attention and energy on enjoying the world: tastes, smells, textures … and our own body. This is not an obstacle to living, but the means to live and imagine. Thus, when we are little we do not worry about how we look and whether or not our physical qualities adapt to the patterns of harmony, strength and youth that make up that rare and current marketing version of beauty.
As we grow we lose — what a misfortune! —The thoughtless certainty that we are perfect being who we are. We are beginning to worry about acne and overweight, wrinkles and gray hair, flaccidity and baldness. We forget that perfection – and beauty – is elsewhere. The most dramatic thing is perhaps that we do not learn the lesson: we grow up, we have our own daughters and in some way that we do not even notice, we contribute so that they too lose that precious gift of feeling comfortable in their own skin.
Do you want to break the chain? Don’t let your daughters come to despise who they are and how they look due to hollow parameters that start from perfection made with a scalpel and Photoshop. Check out these four ideas that I share with you on the subject:
1. Be happy in your own skin
I know this is very difficult, but if you are going to teach your daughters to love their bodies, you must start by setting an example. This does not mean that you should give up the diet if you are overweight or that you throw away your expensive anti-wrinkle cream. What I mean is that you try to remember those days when you didn’t need to look in the mirror before going out because it was more important to have fun with your siblings, play with the dog or dream that you were a mermaid. You were beautiful and perfect. And you still are, you just forgot. Make the adjustments you need to make to feel good and happy with your body, but never to look like an impossible and frivolous model of beauty.
Lee: If an inner voice tells you that you are not beautiful enough, you have to watch this video
2. Don’t disqualify your body
I once read a letter from an adult woman addressed to her mother, in which she recounted how as a child she dreamed of one day looking so beautiful and having the perfect body that her mother wore when she wore her black bathing suit. She stopped wanting it the day she discovered her mother in her swimsuit in front of the mirror, saying, “I’m horrible, fat, and old.” The way you see and rate your body serves as a model for how your daughters will see theirs. Never forget it.
Lee: That’s why you don’t have a boyfriend
3. You are more than your image
We live in a time when everything can become merchandise. We are bombarded daily with ideas, images and concepts that make us think that our body is the product that we must offer to be loved, accepted, admired and recognized. But we are much more than the appearance of our body. Think of your children: do you love them because they look like the kid in TV promo, or do you love them because of the way they smile and light up the world when they call you “mom”? I insist, I am not calling you to neglect your body, but to regain the certainty that you are much more than the image reflected in the mirror.
4. You already have a perfect body
I assure you that when you hear “perfect body” you immediately think of an athletic body, without a gram of fat, tanned and toned. And yes, a body with those characteristics could very well fit that definition. However, we seldom think that our body is perfect for a few other things, perhaps more surprising. Think, for example, that your body is constituted as a system capable of reproducing and maintaining itself. Despite impressive scientific advancement, there is not a single machine or computer that does this. You can also create the precise environment to create, house and nurture a life that will be independent from yours. Your body does whatever it takes — without your noticing or having to strain — to produce exactly the type of food (and in the amounts necessary) that that specific life requires to develop at each stage of its initial growth. Isn’t this more surprising than a body tan, measuring 90-60-90? You are already perfect, you just need to see it.
readPerfectionism: A Sure Way to Get Anxiety as a Mother
Don’t let false ideas of beauty take away the possibility of being happy and teaching your daughters to be happy by loving themselves. Take care of your body, stay healthy and build your own version of the most beautiful woman in the world.